Old joke.
Two medical students are chatting. One says that they read an article that said the better adjusted a person is the further back they can remember. An emotionally stable person should be able to recall many things from pre-school and an exceptional person could remember learning to speak.
“So what’s your earliest memory?”
“I snuck a beer of of my parent’s fridge when I was 13.”
I have a handful of token memories going back to when I was one or two. But kindergarten and school are just blank voids. It took me up to when I was about 30 to realize I did not have a happy childhood.
I had a fine childhood. Nothing I would consider abnormal in a traumatic or negative sense, and the fidelity of my memories have always been limited. Some brains just aren’t designed to hold onto the past … which is quite comical because I the things I do remember, I remember strongly; even when they’re essentially irrelevant. Oh well.
I have memories of my parents telling their memories describing pretty heavy neglect when I was 0-3. I have a lot of vivid memories of abuse beyond that point, and it’s like therapy and education just bring up more. I dunno what else to do with my life but obsess over how to help prevent it for future generations however possible
My elementary school had two kindergarten teachers with the same last name, my only memory of kindergarten is roll call on the first day when the teacher told me I was in the wrong room and I had to walk out with the other kids chuckling. Seems like our brains hold on to only the strongest emotional moments be they good or bad.
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What if I cannot remember when my earliest memory is - how fucked am I then? :-P
Do you remember making this comment?
I don’t see any mental health issues here. Nope, nary a one
Either all is well… or it’s wearing the ring of power and all hell is about to break loose!
Bonus fucked
Does it count as a memory if you are aware that it did happen but don’t remember it? There’s probably a better way of saying it.
I am aware I played mini golf and did fucking terribly at 3, ramps are bullshit and all, but I don’t remember doing it, simply that it happened.
Most people start retaining more concrete memories around three. It’s when we develop object permanence iirc
Are you asking my opinion? If so, it’s not a memory. My mom always told the story of how I was going to attack the Wicked Witch when I saw her on TV but I don’t remember it. I remember my mom telling the story.
“Did this memory actually happen a long time ago or did it happen yesterday and my brain filed it wrong”
-Me more and more recentlyMy first memories are traumatic!
Actually, a number of my childhood memories are the traumatic ones… Fuck.
Same. Those are the ones that will be with you til your dying day. I hate it when someone say forgive and forget. Forgiving is next to impossible when you can’t forget, ever.
There’s no reason to forgive either. That’s for religous dogma. If a person does bad things to you, it’s a done thing. Fuck that person. Cut toxicity out of your life. If u can. Period. Radical acceptance of the things you can’t change anymore is the way. But Forgivness? Nope.
It really hurts to see people forgiving e.g. their parents for abuse/torture. It stopped being your parent at that moment. “mother” and “father” are titles to be earned, no rights to be giving by procreation.
I agree the whole forgive and forget was invented by the guilty.
Oh huh… I did not actually realize this was a tendency for ADHD spectrum people. Though I’m pretty sure I’ve got a lot least one or two that are 100% real, so that’s fun too
ADHD peeps from older generations typically were not diagnosed at all, so they were just classified as lazy, and some parents tried to “fix” this laziness with some pretty heavy handed methods if you know what I mean.
I sometimes wonder if I am but this would be the opposite of my childhood experience. I was “introverted” or socially ackward they would say but I did well in classes which was usually the yard stick for laziness. getting homework done. it is interesting to see all the takes from this community.
There’s plenty of ADHD people who excel in school actually. It can go either way. Often it depends on how much luck you have with your teachers. If they happen to have a compatible type to ADHD children, or are ND themselves, it tends to go massively better. My child went from failing school to excelling, by just a change of school and teachers.
My grades were pretty much dependent on how much homework and long term projects were worth cause I almost never did either. Test grades were usually good though
I was one of those ADHD kids who was socially awkard but excelled in class too. I was (and still am) probably awkward because I was at best ostracized and at worst bullied by every kid in school, but it is what it is.
I was lucky in that my high school was large enough that there were like a half dozen of us so we had a little group. oh man though the small catholic school before that was not great.
Lazy? You mean slow gaited like a mule. That was my dads description of me. I am left handed too which is why I could never be as good as him at many things. May he rot.
My earliest (or one of) memory is of me when. I was 6 with a steak knife pointed at my jugular crying and trying to will up the courage to do it.
Things I did not improve greatly from there. I remember very little of my childhood or really any part of my life. Bits and pieces here and there.
Guys, I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think I might be depressed.
I seriously advise you to get professional help. This doesn’t sounds very healthy, maybe you should get this checked with a therapist. I hope you find peace on your life. Please take care.
Dunno where you reside and the legality but psilocybin and ketamine have been showing wonderful results in depression and are becoming more available in a medical setting. I’ve done a few K sessions at a local clinic and I won’t say it’s fixed my depression but I do find it easier to look at things glass half full, highly recommend.
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Note however, that psychotropics drugs are best taken under medical instruction and are most effective in the long run if you’re also in psychotherapy.
Edit: Wtf did my app just do
Yes, that’s why I said in a clinic. Having someone to monitor you is safety first.
There’s a dozen apps for Lemmy and they all have bugs, but I’m glad there’s people working g on them all
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A Mother who loves to gaslight ist not helping as well, in case you were wondering
I’m in this meme, and your addition, and I don’t like it. 😑
I find memory interesting. I see a lot of indication that different folks sorta have a different retention period. Granted we all sorta reset each night and only retain so much of what we keep in active memory but I feel like most people don’t really retain much of things even 5 years back and even less can do 10 and less still 20 and less still 50 and further on your dead. This seems to be why our democracies can make the same mistakes again and again.
It is also interesting how some memories are completely forgotten until something triggers the memory back. Like we have a large archive of memories and just tagged them shitty for search.
Add in several concussions from contact sports and you get the fun dlc of “did my brain just offload irrelevant stuff or is there a bruise on that part of my brain?”
I don’t have that, I can remember a few things back to age 3/4. But an ex has this, starting most memories around age 10 - 12, and I’m just surprised how that doesn’t spark a thorough medical investigation. Just nobody cares.
What kind of medical investigation do you imagine?
why would it come up in a normal yearly checkup?
I might have made this up as well, but I have a very distinct memory of basically suddenly becoming conscious at around being 3 years old. I woke up from a nap and for a couple hours or possibly days, I wasn’t sure whether I was dreaming or the world around me was actually real. After a couple of days of waking up in the same environment, I eventually accepted this to be reality. I of course don’t remember everything from this point on in my life, but it really felt like the first time I was able to explicitly think about stuff.
There’s also “childhood amnesia” caused by the hormonal changes of puberty.
This would actually make a huge amount of sense. Your brain literally chemically rewires during puberty, so I imagine there’s also varying degrees of memory pruning based on frequency of access and interrelatedness.
Related: https://scitechdaily.com/mapping-neuroplasticity-how-pregnancy-rewires-brain-architecture
