My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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I pull out a sketch book, say I will do a portrait and put my thump up for reference then hand them a high detail illustration of my own thumb. Lot of effort.
My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Bah-dum-tsss.
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because it didn’t have any body to go with
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
dadjokes@lemmy.world
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
The interruptive cow
The interrup-
MOOOOOO
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
I have some sense of self preservation. She’s bad enough right now calling everyone a banana!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aww don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
I would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
