I have stage 2 cancer. I don’t want to end up like my uncle, wasting his final months enduring treatment. I just don’t know how to tell my family.
I have stage 2 cancer. I don’t want to end up like my uncle, wasting his final months enduring treatment. I just don’t know how to tell my family.
Sorry to hear this.
Stage 2 means it is still localised, right? It may have been found in time and is treatable.
I don’t know about your uncles cancer or what stage it was but not all cancers are the same and some are very treatable. In one type of cancer, survival after 5 years is 99% for stage 1, 95% for stage 2, 50-6i% for stage 3 etc. Stage 2 can be a very winnable battle. Even stage 3 can be a worthwhile battle.
You may be avoiding a very winnable battle in which you can have a long and enjoyable life after some short term discomfort. Some cancers can he treated in a localised manner with radiotherapy rather than chemo.
I implore you to verify what the treatment options are and success rates before making a hasty and final decision.
A relative of mine came back from stage 2 doing pretty well and is pretty happy after a year of treatment. Some of it obviously a little challengeing, but they have no regrets.
Sincerely, thanks. I’m going to explore my options, but I’m more concerned about how my mom and brothers might take the news that I’m battling something like this.
Seriously don’t give up. My Dad has stage 4 lung cancer, diagnosed in April, and his treatments have given him his life back. For now. I’m not trying to minimize your situation, every cancer is different, just don’t give up until you know more. I really feel for you, keep your head up.
My question is more about informing my family, Do you mind me asking how your dad broke the news to you?
Unfortunately I was in the room. I took him to the ER to get checked for pneumonia due to a persistent cough and fever. After the CT a very kind hospitalist broke the news. There were other extended family members that needed to be informed. When I told them, I followed pretty close to what the Dr did and said. I’m not sure if that’s helpful for your situation. To use your conversation as a model.
For me it worked best to be as direct and clear as straight forward as possible bc you want them to hear and understand what you’re saying. The emotions will come in later. So if you can do it, I’d say “I have something serious to tell you, I was diagnosed with cancer” then fill in the details. People will get upset and need some time to have emotions.
I would encourage you to learn more before sharing; there may be treatment options, you might have a cancer that is very treatable, unknown or untreatable. Likelihoods and timelines are the most important thing that your family will want to know; sharing “stage 2 cancer type x and this is a general treatment plan and timeline” is a very different conversation from “I have cancer, don’t know what type, the timeline or likelihoods of outcomes”.
It may be different for you and your family but that can really help your family receive, process the news and support you how you need.
Best to just lead with the facts. “Due to having issues with x, y and z, I went to the doctor. After further investigation it has been confirmed as stage 2 xxxxxx cancer. I’m still trying to understand more about it.”
As another poster said, give them time to emotionally process this. They care about you so are naturally going to be affected and that is fine. Doing this in person is preferable.