• spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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    10 days ago

    Completely off topic but it’s funny to me that when we have a cordial disagreement I get pummeled with downvotes—even if we come to an understanding in the end.

    The power you wield, PugJesus. Use it responsibly.

        • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          That would be way cuter than downvoting someone for a good faith disagreement!

          With all seriousness, while I do actually wish I had that kind of power, the more likely explanation is that you’re in the uncomfortable position of speaking truth to power. There IS a sexism problem on Lemmy and it DOES need to be addressed, and that you’re vocal in attacking it is inevitably unpopular. I generally take the more moderate side in our disagreements, but that also means that there are inevitably shitheads ‘agreeing’ with me not because they share my opinion, but simply because I’m commenting in opposition to an opinion they hate even more.

          Fact is, while I absolutely believe everything I say, it’s also true that nothing would get done if everyone was part of the ‘shake hands and make nice’ brigade. I definitely stiffen the quills and get pissed when I see sexism that I think is deliberate, but unintentional sexism is still something that must be driven out. Hell, I’m part of the problem in a sense - I’ve definitely seen edge cases where I thought “Fuck, is this sexist or am I being sensitive?”, and left it entirely without comment, not even a “Just wanted to let you know it sounds a bit” or “Could you clarify…?” because I didn’t want to wade in.

          It’s something I criticize others often on other subjects, but the fact is that everyone has issues that they are harder and softer on. People who are part of the asspat brigade may be useful for eventually reaching out and bridging the shitheads to a less shitheaddy mode of existence, but we’re fucking useless in driving the fuckers out of places where decent people congregate, and both are necessary - in varying proportions according to the state of a given community. Lemmy needs more people who take a hard line against sexist behavior, not more guys who see where the prickly reaction button is being hit - Lemmy has plenty of us already.

          Keep doing what you’re doing, spujb. Someone sure as hell has to.