• key@lemmy.keychat.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Panic. I’d immediately wonder if I suffered a stroke in the middle of the night that makes me think I changed. Or if I did magically change, did other people’s memories change too? I’d check my ID, birth certificate, any other paperwork, even old pictures for signs of gender. Figure out a way to indirectly ask a family member. Try to tell if my pets recognize me or are treating me like a stranger.

    I’d have to text out sick from work as long as possible because I wouldn’t know how to explain my sudden difference in voice and appearance. I’d be too busy panicking over what happened and trying to reevaluate everything I know about myself. Am I gay now? Am I trans now? Do all my interests stay the same? My socialization as a child didn’t change and it’s nurture not nature, right? Are my genetics different? Am I prone to different health risks now? Am I still me or did asgardian aliens put my memories in a clone body and mess up a chromosome?

    If I don’t change back I’ll start doing research into legally changing gender and coming up with a story to tell everyone who knew me. I live in an area that’s fairly pro-trans so at least I wouldn’t have to face insurmountable legal hurdles to get a name and ID swap. At some point I’d consider HRT to go back, but that can take so long (especially because I’d sound insane if I explained what happened) I’d realistically have to transition both directions legally, which I imagine would be its own hell.

    Eventually I’d calm down enough to explore myself physically.