I’ve been thinking about it for some years now and I’m 100% sure that I’m not overthinking. My aunt’s boyfriend is actually kind of a nice guy he’s not a toxic type of guy, he actually comes off as very emotionally in touch with his feelings. Which is great considering my aunt’s last boyfriend was actually kind of toxic.
But ever since some years ago I’ve noticed something odd about him, he does some things, some little gestures that makes it obvious that he is actually kind of attracted to me in some way.
He would acknowledge that I’m pretty but that’s not something weird that’s something a family member could say. The issue here is that sometimes he is too touchy. He’d touch my waist and say “oh your waist is so tiny”, that’s a part of my body that he touches a lot, like one time when I was playing football-in and he hugged my waist from the back.
Another weird thing is when he touches my feet, he does that the most and I don’t fucking know why. When I’m laying on the sofa he will touch my feet and he once said that my feet are very soft, which I was confused about because why would feet not be soft? It was just such a weird comment.
Now the last time that something like this happened was two days ago, we were playing some board games with the whole family and I couldn’t concentrate because he was touching me with his hand on my leg.
And this was the last thing that made me really weirded out and I’m not confusing this because this is the kind of thing he does to my aunt and doesn’t do to anyone else other than her and me, he doesn’t do it to my little brother, he doesn’t do it to my mom or my dad or anyone else.
I’ve mentioned this to my parents and they don’t take it seriously, so I didn’t insist too much because I really am afraid that I might cause problems inside the family.
And I actually don’t think he’s a bad guy, it’s normal to feel attracted to other people other than your partner sometimes, and my aunt and I look kind of similar in appearance. But what’s wrong is that you shouldn’t act on it, you shouldn’t do this kind of behavior.
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This isn’t really the right community for this, but next time he does it loudly go “get your fucking hands OFF me!”
That’s not normal. Not okay. And if your family doesn’t see a problem with it, it’s likely going to cause a bit of a rift. But that’s better than getting raped in the future.
Even if his behavior could otherwise be interpreted as acceptable affection between family, you don’t interpret it that way and that’s what matters. He either hasn’t picked up on your discomfort, or he doesn’t care. Both possibilities say a lot about what kind of person he is, regardless of how friendly or emotionally mature he seems.
It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth being direct and blunt the next time he touches you. Something simple like “hey, please don’t do that, it makes me uncomfortable, I’m serious.” Even better if other people are around to hear you. If he doesn’t immediately take you seriously, apologize, and change his behavior, then you are absolutely justified cutting him off completely and getting the fuck out of that situation for your own safety, everyone else be damned.
If the rest of your family doesn’t take you seriously and respect your boundaries, especially after you’ve asked him to stop, then they are part of the problem and don’t deserve to be around you. This is a potentially dangerous situation, and your parents should be on your side no matter what.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s awful.
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You wouldnt be the one causing problems in the family; he’s the one causing problems by being a creep. He is targeting and trying to groom you. Your family will probably try to push you to just deal with it so that they dont have to deal with it or have him face the consequences of his actions.
Its also important you don’t let him continue to get away with it. Someone like that will continue to push boundaries if you let them get away with it and you don’t make it clear it’s unacceptable or that you arent comfortable with it. If he is truly a reasonable or good person, hearing “I dont feel comfortable with you touching me there /like that” should be enough for him to stop that
Acting nice doesn’t mean he can’t also be a bad guy. Like other people here have said, his behavior is very inappropriate and creepy, and it sounds like he’s grooming you. He’s not a family member and he shouldn’t be touching you.
Also I have to say that he knows me since I was 15, and this behavior started in my late teens. When I first told my dad about he said it happened because I was already a grown woman 💀 I swear my parents are retarded sometimes.
My daughter had the problem Wit her step dad. I tried everything to get him away from her. When she turned 18 he got her drunk and took advantage of here and I got arrested for threatening him.
I would recommend never being alone with him and like the other person said any time he touches you say loudly enough for other people to hear “I don’t like it when you touch me like that.
Especially in public. Shame him.
But never be alone with him
When did you transition? Did it start before or after?
I transitioned when I was 12-13. I was already deep in my transition when this started
