It’s not that I can’t. The problem is that when I’m with someone, I deeply yearn to be alone. I’d love to have my life for myself, with no responsibility with no one else - just me.

But then, when I’m alone, I feel like a failure, like I need a relationship to feel complete, and I fucking hate that. So I end up in another relationship, and after two years I can’t stand it anymore, and the cycle repeats.

What the hell. Has anyone suffered from something like that? How can you be alone and not feel lonely? How to kill this need to be with someone?

EDIT: Thanks for all the answers, I’m taking every single one into consideration. Please, keep them coming.

  • Izzgo@kbin.social
    54·
    8 months ago

    Lots of people have relationships where they never live together, and see each other a few times a week. They go along like this for years, decades even. I knew one pair that didn’t even live in the same country. What I think you want is a relationship but not a live-in partner. Just make sure you are dating people who want the same kind of relationship as you do, basically a permanent long distance relationship.

    • Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      32·
      8 months ago

      I knew a couple who were married and together for 20 years and didn’t live together. My manager as well, she’s married and they don’t technically live together but he stays at her house 4 days a week. I also knew a couple who were just friends with benefits and lived together and coparented their 2 kids, they had separate rooms.

      Just find the type of relationship that works for you.

      Edit: some extra context for anyone interested. The first couple were young professionals and they enjoyed their privacy and alone time. For my manager it was her second marriage and they were both in their 50th, they both had their lives and this way was just easier for them, iirc they’ve been together for like 7ish years. As for the last couple my ex used to watch them on tiktok, seemed like it worked out for them, they were a Mexican couple.