Doesn’t need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying “Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!”
Doesn’t need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying “Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!”
So this one is a doozy, and I still have trouble believing this happened to me.
My ex was cheating on me. I confirmed it by checking her phones location (yeah I know, shitty thing to do but there were LOADS of red flags and we were each other’s first everything). I decided I was going to confront her at her fuck buddies house. I drove an hour to get there. I was about to turn into the subdivision, and for some reason just had a feeling that I should stop. Once I did, I realized it was stupid to do this. I knew she was cheating, so what sense was there to confront her?
So I turned around and started to head back home when I realized that there was a huge jacked up truck RIGHT on my ass. It was the guy she was cheating on me with. Turns out, it was a college professor for a class we were both in (this was a long time ago).
So I’m driving along, and this guy starts to try to run me off the road, so I start speeding up. He’s trying to get alongside me to ram me. I’m freaking the FUCK out. I’m doing probably 110 mph down a winding back road that I had never been on. No GPS and barely any cell service. I remember calling my mom, and telling her I was going to die. I’ll never forget that. She tells me to hang up and call the cops. I call 911 and give them the rundown, or at least I try to, but I lose signal. It’s at that moment when I see this dude pull a pistol and aim it at my car from his window. He starts firing at me. I miraculously get cell signal again and call the cops. I tell them the road and mile marker that I’m on, and they tell me they’ll have 2 cops posted up ahead and to stop there.
I stop by the cops and they RIP me out of the car and throw me on the ground and handcuff me. Screaming at me asking where the gun is. I tell them that I didn’t have the gun, it was the guy that just flew by them doing 120mph.
It was at that moment that they tell me to stay on the ground and THEY BOTH GET IN THEIR CARS TO CHASE HIM. I’M STILL FUCKING HANDCUFFED, and now, all alone.
They come back and said that they couldn’t catch up to him, but he had told them he had me on camera breaking into his house (how did they speak to him if they didn’t catch up to him ???). I tell them to take me to jail then and have him prove it with the video. They ask me what I was doing in this small town, and I tell them the truth.
They ask to call my soon to be ex so they could speak to her. I gave them her number and they called her and put her on speaker. THIS GIRL TELLS THEM SHES NEVER EVEN MET ME! We’d been together for 4 years!
They tell me to just leave, and that I wasn’t welcome back into the town.
6 months later my dad gets a job in that town and we moved there. Luckily I moved out right after.
Man fuck that girl, fuck those cops, fuck that psycho guy, fuck that small town, fuck your cell carrier. Fuck every character in this story except you. And maybe your dad.
Crazy! I have a similar ish story. Girlfriend and I went to the bird refuge at night to smooch in the car and a truck pulls up behind us, after a minute we decide to leave and they follow. Very rural area. The truck passes and then stops in front of us, we go around and then it’s like my life became a videogame. The truck passed again and this time stops more horizontal to block both lanes, I start to go around and they pull forward, I’m able to go around their other side. I had a shitty manual that could do 0 to 60 in like 40 seconds but I felt fast. A few 90 degree turns on the road. Quite a lot happened on the chase, they nearly rear ended me when I tried to not let them pass, turned around after they passed, turned around again later. Told my girlfriend to call the police but she was crying and screaming and didn’t. And then they ran me off the road into a ditch. 2 guys get out of the truck, I get out of my camry and they’re like “who the fuck are you?!!” I yelled it back at them. They said they’re looking for some person who wasn’t me. I called them a bunch of names. They towed me out of the ditch. I never told my parents because they were Mormon and I didn’t want to get in trouble for going to the refuge with my girlfriend at night lol. It 100% doesn’t feel like it really happened
This sounds made-up.
I know. But I can promise you, it isn’t.
Pretty wild then! I’m glad you made it out unscathed.
Not the happy ending I was hoping for. Here’s how you should have ended it:
"Turns out, the guy she was cheating on my with gets fired from the college for inappropriate relations with students. Afterwards, he gets a job at my dad’s company as a corporate trainer - reporting to my dad! My dad knows who he is, but keeps it a secret for the next 8 years. All the while, he continuously passes the guy up for promotions, gives him the shitiest work to do, bad performance reviews every year, and generally makes his work life hell. It’s a small town though, so there is literally no where else for him to go.
Meanwhile, at home, my ex and the cheater are having trouble conceiving. Since they can’t afford the premium insurance at work, the fertility treatments they need are too expensive. They decide to keep trying instead of adopting, and eventuality the clock runs out. She’s 40 and it’s too dangerous to try and have kids at that point. They give up.
My dad finally decides to retire and the cheater thinks it’s his big chance to finally get promoted. Instead, my dad recommends hiring me as his replacement. They follow his recommendation. Day one, cheater confronts me about how angry he is and I fire him on the spot for insubordination.
He’s now out of work with no option. They can’t afford to relocate. So, my ex has to get a job. She has no skills or experience so she decides to work the local gentlemens club. However, at 40+, she’s not pulling in the tips, so she starts turning tricks for more money. To steer clear of the police, she starts bringing the Johns home for work. Cheater has to sit in the next room while he listens to her get plowed over and over by random dudes ever night. Every once in a while, he’ll hear through the wall one of the Johns ask “How’d you end up doing this?”. To which she replies, “My man just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut at work.”. It’s not too long after, on a night where she’s satisfying two dudes at once - one a local mechanic the cheater knew growing up, and the other the local youth pastor - that he decides to eat a bullet.
It’s been 3 years since then. My ex is still working, though with her age, she’s had to leave the local club locations and frequent the truck stops more. Every once in a while, I’ll stop for gas and meet eyes with her as she exits a truck on the other side of the parking lot. She never waves. She just stares. Then, she gets into the next truck."
Edit: Epilogue: Those cops died of dick cancer.
LMAO, you should sell a “catharsis calendar” marketed to grocery checkouts, with one of these shorts for each day of the year. You could retire.
Just remember to come back and take care of me, k?
And everybody clapped.