Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “Marx loves you, do you believe in Marx?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Socialist or an Anarchist”? He said, “A Socialist.” I said, “Me, too! Democratic Socialist or actual Communist?” He said, “Actual Communist.” I said, “Me, too! What school?” He said, “Marxism.” I said, “Me, too! Revolutionary Marxism or Reformist Marxism?” He said, “Revolutionary Marxism.” I said, “Me, too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism or Revolutionary Marxism-Troskyism?” He said “Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism.” I said, “Me, too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism, or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Hoxhaism?” He said, “Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism.” I said, “Me, too! Regular Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought?” He said, “Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought.”

I said, “Die, liberal!” and pushed him off.