I searched this morning for communities related to polyamory and open relationships. Finding nothing, I created something. If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, etc, swing on by for a chat, to post something silly, as you will.

edit: !polyamory@kbin.run

  • Björn Tantau@swg-empire.deEnglish
    1063·
    4 months ago

    Polyamory is WRONG! You people disgust me!

    Mixing Latin and Greek words like that! Either call it multiamory or polyphilia!

    The nerve of some people!

              • kitnaht@lemmy.worldEnglish
                123·
                4 months ago

                This is absolutely disgusting behavior from someone on Lemmy. How DARE you. They might have boyfriends too.

              • Holyginz@lemmy.worldEnglish
                31·
                4 months ago

                Not the brightest bulb are ya? Continuing to double down on your stupid comments

                • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
                  32·
                  4 months ago

                  I have a difficult time differentiating between active trolling and a lack of knowledge/ understanding. u/Moon appears to be leaning trollward. However calling someone stupid, or dumb is ableist or elitist. People have differing levels of cognitive capacity and education. And learning occurs over time, but not by the same linear path for each of us. Ultimately what I’m trying to say is education is better than ad hominem attacks. Also, don’t feed the trolls.

  • jjjalljs@ttrpg.networkEnglish
    91·
    4 months ago

    I hope you’re ready for a deluge of ignorant comments. And some malicious ones.

    I’m going quickly enumerate some of the more common responses.

    “I knew a poly couple and they broke up!” -> we’ve all known many monogamous relationships that ended, too. Though it is true that going from a conventional, deeply entangled, monogamous relationship to something else is challenging. Read about the missing step if you’re interested. Monogamous people would also benefit.

    “It’s bad for the kids!” -> the poly people I know who have kids, the kids are doing great. They have more adults in their lives that are invested in them.

    “It’s just cheating!” -> cheating is when you break agreed upon rules. If the rules don’t include “only have sex with one person”, then it’s not cheating to do otherwise.

    “It’s just about sex!” -> sometimes! Sometimes monogamous relationships are just about sex. Sometimes they’re not.

    “I’m too jealous for that!” -> most people experience jealousy. What’s important is how you deal with it. If you’re the kind of person who has a freak out and breaks into your partner’s phone because he smiled at the waitress, that’s not ok and not something to be proud of. You can and should work on emotional regulation.

    “You poly people think you’re better than everyone!” -> some people might. But that’s true for any subcategory of people. Vegans. Linux users. City dwellers. Country dwellers. I will say that living unexamined choices I think is the worse choice. If monogamy is something you really thought about and chose, fine, good for you. But if you’re just doing it because that’s expected and never gave it a thought? Less impressed. The same for eating meat or using windows.

    Ok, I think that’s all the highlights.

    • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
      2·
      4 months ago

      We’ve already had “it’s just about sex”. And anyone that’s been around has heard all the rest, and more. Let’s see how it rolls, without expectations, fearless. And please, when your predictions come to fruition, come help out. It’s all about education, and conversation. :-)

        • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
          1·
          4 months ago

          I see what you mean. And I corrected the link above to what I think is correct. Can you, would you please check me on that? I’m just learning how this all works. Seems there’s some federation issues for some users.

          • JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
            1·
            4 months ago

            No, you need to literally put !polyamory@kbin.run instead of just !polyamory. It’s like dialing someone’s phone number who lives in a different country and not including the country code when you don’t include an instance.

            • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
              1·
              4 months ago

              Hmm, do you realize when I copy each of those “!polyamory” (which appear as blue links) above, in your message, and then paste them next to each other in the text editor, that both of them are the same. LIke this: https://kbin.run/m/Polyamory

              which further confuses me as to what you are suggesting, as I think I’ve done what you suggested.

              • JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
                2·
                4 months ago

                !polyamory@kbin.run not !polyamory. It’s like trying to email “John”. John at what? You’re on kbin.run so it goes to !polyamory@kbin.run like you expect. When I click on !polyamory it tries to go to !polyamory@programming.dev because my instance is programming.dev.

                • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
                  1·
                  4 months ago

                  Ok, thank you, it appears the fog of ignorance has been dissipated by your brilliance. I apologize for being so dense. This should work a whole lot better.

  • Don_Dickle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    4 months ago

    Correct me if I am wrong but are there not websites for this stuff? This got me curious because never been screwed by a man. And as a lesbian I think about it from time to time.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      9·
      4 months ago

      I mean. It’s any website that has user communities, if their users skew that way.

      Polyamory isn’t some niche kink.

    • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
      3·
      4 months ago

      I think I may be misunderstanding your question. Is this not a “website for this stuff”? Or do you mean by “this stuff” a dating site? Mostly I see this site as a place for polyamory related discussion, memes, infographics, book reviews and lists, links to other ‘websites for this stuff’, news and related info, etc, etc. And all those things that other poly folx will think of that have never occurred to me. In case it’s not crossed your radar, it’s been out so long, Lesbian Polyfidelity by Celeste West was an early book in my polyamorous education. :-)

        • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
          2·
          4 months ago

          You are welcome. It’s all about the conversation. I saw an opportunity to build a tiny bit of friendly space in the Fediverse. I’m a reddit-fugee, and don’t need the sort of antagonism I found there in my life, any more. Yesterday, I searched up polyamory on Fedi, and with my poor search skills thought no one had made a poly community here. So I popped up something on Kbin.run as it’s my ‘native’ instance, thinking it would be a stub, but there appears to be interest. I asked specifically, later in the day when I had searched more effectively and found that there are indeed other poly related communities, e.g. on lemmy.world, and also polyamory alberta (tho no posts there in a year, I hope they can flourish, soon) - I asked if there was a need/ interest in keeping this one (https://kbin.run/m/Polyamory), and everyone said we should keep it, as there’s strength in diversity. So my poly-brain couldn’t say no to that.

          • Don_Dickle@lemmy.worldEnglish
            21·
            4 months ago

            Ok and not being a bitch or sarcastic that has got to be on the sidebar or something similar. You are better than my google search.

            • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
              2·
              4 months ago

              Umm, (coyly) why thank you! I don’t use goog, if I can avoid it. Insert brief anti-corporate rant. In this case I was searching within the Feidiverse using the search bar on Kbin.run. And also searching with DuckDuckGo!, which search engine doesn’t save one’s searches/ results. I’ll put links to other polyfedi stuff in the sidebar, good suggestion. :-)

  • Don_Dickle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    56·
    4 months ago

    Call me stupid but does this community be about sex? Should it not be labled NSFW?

    • notacat@mander.xyzEnglish
      17·
      4 months ago

      polyamory is an alternative to monogamy, so if you think a community about monogamous relationships should be NSFW then I guess, but I think that might be a stretch.

        • Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.runOP
          4·
          4 months ago

          There are many aspects to polylove, including sex, but not solely sex. There’s a bit of a distinction between “swinging” which is more about the sex and less about the relationships. And polyamory which is more about the relationships less about the sex. I mean if that makes sense? But yeah, search the interwebs and there’s a site for any kind of sex you can imagine, and for all the ones you never thought of, nor perhaps wished to think of. (sorry for ending in a preposition, I may need caffeine)

    • Björn Tantau@swg-empire.deEnglish
      13·
      4 months ago

      Polyamory is about multiple relationships. The amory part means love. So while sex is a part of it it’s not the focus. See it as a relationship advice community.