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Cake day: September 30th, 2023

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  • DillyDaily@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldPills here!
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    5 months ago

    I mean, I’m anti-meds for treating exogenic issues when something can be done for those exogenic issues.

    If I’m sitting at home with the heater on and I start feeling warm and flushed, I wouldn’t take an ibuprofen (as an anti-pyretic) to bring my temperature down, I’ll turn the heater off.

    It’s the same for mental health, if the sole source of the stress/sorrow is external, medication is nothing more than a bandaid, which is better than nothing if the exogenic influence is outside your individual control (which it often is)… But we are at a point where the majority of people with mental health issues are experiencing a level of exogenic influence and there are enough of us that if we organised we could change the factors that are causing or worsening our mental health symptoms.

    So it bears talking about, is medication always appropriate?

    Medication is important, especially for endogenic conditions, and medication is life saving. But if you have exogenic depression and the meds aren’t working, the new prescription is protest.


  • This is what is breaking my mental health.

    Life is not guaranteed to be good, nature is cruel and has no rhyme or reason. People die and suffer in horrific ways every day because of nature.

    Why the fuck are we adding to that cruelty!?

    The chaos of the natural order of the universe sucks and you’ve got to learn to cope with that. But I’ve always found that side of life easy to accept because it is so inevitably universally unavailable.

    I was born with a genetic illness, it causes lifelong disability due to structural deformity, but can also just randomly cause fatal aneurysms in young people. That’s nature, that sucks, but hey, what are you going to do? Figure out how to do what you need to do to live and live it.

    But then I’m born into a country with no disability discrimination laws, and no right to access laws. Fortunately we had public healthcare and public disability services, and public welfare services, and when I was younger a disability act was finally brought in (though it’s often just lip service)

    Growing up I felt safe and secure knowing I had a good social support system…but the public disability services shut down and was replaced by an insurance model, the public healthcare has been functionally split to a semi public copay system and a private paid system, and the welfare pension is so far below the poverty line that people on a disability pension don’t earn enough money to meet the eligibility for public housing.

    (yes, You can be too poor, for public/social housing.)

    And it’s one thing for law and legislation to lag behind the needs of the people, it’s another thing altogether when an individual or small group of individuals in power systematically impose laws to remove the support and resources you used to have, for barely no more reason than “they want to”.

    I can’t help but feel that a significant portion of my suffering is the result of the few people in the local conservative government that shut down the public disability service providers because it was “costing too much” … Even though the insurance model they replaced it with costs the government more and supports less people than the previous system, and supports them less effectively.

    And how do you live with that?

    Like it’s one thing for nature to have cursed me to suffer, but a human being heard my story, and countless stories like mine, and still said “nah, fuck em” when it came to vote.

    We are living with psychopaths and sociopaths in complete control over our lives. The suffering is happening for a reason, and the reason is that those who are causing the suffering are enjoying the situation (because it gives them money, power, influence, or straight up sadism)

    How the fuck do you reconcile that and “learn to sit with your emotions” in one CBT session and in the very next session my therapist is going to teach me about “enforcing my boundaries”… How do I enforce my personal boundary to get the homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic and ableist government to stop abusing me? Oh, I don’t, I sit with that emotion.

    I can’t afford the pills they recommend.


  • The way the OP phrases it rules out trans men who have vaginas, trans women who have vaginas, and a bunch of cis women who’ve had certain pelvic traumas or cancers and therefore don’t have vaginas.

    What he’s trying to say is “if you were born with a vagina and you align with it” which is actually still funny because I was born with my vagina, I like my vagina, I’ll be happily keeping it even after all my surgeries…but if this OP saw my face he would put me in the “trans man” bucket because they lack nuance around identity.





  • DillyDaily@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldWhat was the "last good day"?
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    6 months ago

    See this way of thinking has actually landed me in a pretty bad place with my mental health.

    “I’m in charge of my own emotions” is not something an autistic person with rigid lines of thinking should internalise, but I did.

    As a result I never gave myself permission to feel negative emotions, because who wants to feel negative about anything if they don’t have to?

    It seemed so smart and healthy, just be happy, that’s what everyone always says about the easy fix to mental health. It was easy too, regardless what was happening around me, if I pictured myself feeling happy, I’d feel happy.

    I’m in my 30s and regularly mistake sensations with other sensations (am I tired or do I need to pee? They both cause a headache) and also I think all my negative emotions are skipping my brain entirely and coming out my arse in the form of IBS.

    I can’t picture myself feeling sad to experience sad because I …don’t remember what sad feels like.

    I remember what vomiting feels like, because that’s how my body has reacted to “sad” recently.


  • This, if anything it might clarify a few confusing exchanges we’ve had in the past, and it will certainly help me be a better friend in the the future.

    If I already know you, I know you, I’m choosing to be friends with you because of how you treat me and how you treat others when we hang out together. If I had any problems with that, I wouldn’t be friends long enough to hear you tell me about your NPD diagnosis.

    Now that said, I’ve had friends tell me about a diagnosis and it shouldn’t change anything, but now that the diagnosis is out in the open they want it to change things and I can’t offer that to the friendship, such as compromising on my own boundaries (eg: I had a friend who after explaining their condition asked me to provide tone indicators for everything I say, but I have alexithymia so that was really difficult for me to do and I couldn’t adjust my behaviour to meet the new expectations of the friendship, so we faded out of each other’s lives, they told people I stopped being friends with them because of their anxiety disorder… No it’s because I couldn’t meet the changed expectations of the friendship, describing my emotions every minute is hard for me and I choose not to be friends with people who require me to do that for their comfort)


  • People’s work preferences are their own, these guys are having fun, good for them.

    I always maintained I can’t work from home, I was forced to teach via zoom during lock downs and even now my job is hybrid, I teach in person in a shared classroom but I don’t have an office, I do all my prep and notes from home. Only I don’t. My productivity genuinely dropped when I lost my office.

    Then I house sat for a friend who had a home office and I realised I can work from home, just not my home, because it’s not set up for work and my head space in my home can’t flip to that “productive mode”.

    So now I go to the local library, which is better than my house but still not as good as an office because it’s still distracting.

    But it depends on the type of work, I prefer lesson planning alone in quiet peace, I get so much done, but when we’re developing community events I love being in our open staff room with laptops out, some of us sitting on the floor, others standing and just shooting ideas around, we always get so much done.

    But I’ve worked in other centres where that level of collaboration and communication wasn’t there - we didn’t have the right mix of personality types, and a workplace like my current staffroom would be chaos and nothing would get done.


  • DillyDaily@lemmy.worldto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    8 months ago

    In Australia cigarettes are sold behind the counter, all packets are identical brown with plain white text with the brand. You can’t smoke them in public, and they’re one of the highest taxed products (a 25 pack will easily cost you $50)

    And yet we still have a major smoking problem here.

    Mostly because of black market fags, $20 illegal import packs, and “vape wars”. It’s shocking when a tabbaconist shop doesn’t get fire bombed by a competing shop.

    That said, the tax revenue is nice, if people wanna smoke the rest of the community may as well get something out of it.

    Tax the birdie.


  • I still feel like the nouns are in the wrong place when I read this.

    I’m reading it as “New York cows new York cows bully bully New York cows”

    When I want it to read “New York cows bully new York cows” which would be “Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” which isn’t enough buffalo.

    I have to inset my own “that” to be able to get my head around “Buffalo buffalo (that) Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”


  • I’m forced to because I make the most ridiculous spelling mistakes that completely change the comment.

    “With” autocorrects to “without”.

    “is” autocorrects to “isn’t”

    Finally worked out why though - my right eye is impaired and I type exclusively with my right thumb (on mobile) so I’m not actually pressing the keys I think I am and I’m often hitting the “predict word” button instead of the space bar.

    Looking forward to getting tactile keys on phones again!


  • My job somehow shifted from teaching IT to seniors to teaching SOSE to migrants

    It has simultaneously been the most challenging, and most rewarding change.

    I’m forced to edit myself down from my preferred 5000 word lecture to about 150 words with clip art.

    It’s slowly helping me become less of a rambler.

    Except for the “post restraint collapse”, I get home and I can’t hold it in anymore, cue the explosive verbal diarrhoea.

    At work, fewer words are better.

    But in my own personal life I feel that the fewer words I employ to convey the way I feel the less nuance I’m embedding in my message and what is communication if not the conveyance of the core message, failing to express myself clearly would be counter-productive so surely explaining in more detail is beneficial, hello? Are you still listening? Why have your eyes glazed over.


  • Call her doctor

    I should have been more specific. Find a time when she’s not doing anything urgent, tell her it’s time to call the doctor, pick up her phone and dial the doctor, put them on speaker and put the phone down next to you while you body double your partner as they gone through the motions of locking in the appointment.

    While on the phone your partner can also give third party authorisation. It’s the first thing I do when I meet a new provider, I give third party authorisation to my partner and mother so they can make appointments on my behalf (they can’t get results for me, but they can schedule things for me)



  • Call her doctor, make an appointment, save it in her calendar, remind her in the lead up, drive her there, get the referral. Walk her to the post box to send it off, sit next to her to phone the intake office to confirm they got the referral, set appointments on her phone for every 6 months to sit with her and call to check the cancellation list until you get an appointment. Drive her to that appointment.

    If she has ADHD, the steps involved in getting a diagnosis are bigger than Mt Everest, she will need a neurotypical Sherpa.



  • I’ve been out as queer since I was 14. I’m in my 30, he still hasn’t come around.

    Given his age and health, if he’s planning too come around he’d better get on it quick, at this rate he’s dying a bigot.

    I’m not waiting any more, I put my whole life on hold waiting for him to come around so I could live my life safely. If I need to cut him out of my life I will.

    I appreciate they kind words, but please keep in mind mind that it’s not always smart or safe to tell a trans person to be patient. The individual will know their level of safety, and advice to be patient and understanding can in some cases case be very, very harmful.


  • Yeah it’s pretty regulated here, you present your evidence for being a medical cannabis candidate to your GP/PCP (or they tell you they think you’re a candidate) who refers to you to a clinic that specialises in cannabis, the intake appointment was 2 hours long, they prescribe specific products based on your symptoms and needs, then script gets sent to a compounding chemist and you go and pick up the medication from the chemist, the same chemist that you’d go to for advil and beta blockers.