My partner does this already. The number of times I’ve found “tush squish” is… I’ve lost track.

I got him back by adding chicken hats to his online cart.

Vance continues to shit his pants

I’d argue she shouldn’t be allowed to practice anything other than some deep breathing and self-reflection.

Good on them! Hope this encourages others too.

Much appreciated!

Archive works, thanks, I’ll read it after work. The first link had a popup demanding money after the first paragraph.

Do you have a non pay-walled link? Like I mentioned, I’m not familiar with the details, and Wikipedia makes it sound like he actually is a molester.

I’m not familiar with all details of his case, but I know enough about him to be able to confidently call him a rapist sack of shit.

I feel bad for the parrots. Habitat displacement is a massive problem. Hope they can get the deforestation under control, and fix the ecological damage.

“Putin’s purpose is to lick my dog’s butthole” - me

Definitely not as bad as some of the others mentioned here, but when I was 18 a slightly older coworker who had a crush on me for a while asked me out. I said yes because I didn’t really know how to say no at the time. I wasn’t physically attracted to him, but he was a really nice guy and I didn’t see the harm in giving him a chance.

We’d already worked together for about a year then, so he knew a few things about my interests. He wanted to plan the whole thing and surprise me with where we’d go. We agreed for him to pick me up from my house at noon. I thought, “great, lunch date”; they’re pretty chill/non-intimate.

So the day comes, he picks me up and we start driving. He tells me he’s taking me to the natural history museum. In DC. Over an hour away. Far for a first date, but I love that museum so I go along with it.

We get there, wander around, chat, and after a couple hours walk out onto the national mall to some random food truck, grabbing a nearby bench to people watch while we ate. I wasn’t feeling a connection, however, was patient and respectful, after all, we had a good enough time so far, and he put effort into planning this.

Now, normally, after the meal/activity is complete this is when a day date starts to come to a natural end. At this point it’s past 4pm, so I suggest we head to the car, thinking to myself that it’s a long drive back. Surprise! He tells me he got us two tickets for DC United that evening. Not a huge sports watching fan, I didn’t know how to react. Being young, inexperienced, and afraid to upset him I feigned excitement.

He drove us to the stadium, parked, then got out to get something from his trunk. Another surprise! A cooler of Smirnoff ice. After the weirdest tailgate we go into the stadium, watch the game, get hotdogs, and the whole time I’m dreading what other surprises he has in store. He seemed so normal before.

Luckily, after the game he finally took me home. I don’t remember what time it was, probably around 9pm, I just remember feeling relief at the sight of my front door. He tried to kiss me when dropping me off, but I managed to avoid any physical interaction. Looking back, it was the weirdest, cringiest date, and the main reason I always drove myself to dates from then on.

A Republican administration would be licking Bibi’s butthole just as much, if not more. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that Israel has overstepped the “defending itself” excuse, and is committing war crimes in their attempt to destroy Hamas by exterminating and land grabbing from the Palestinians (with Lebanon next). None of this should be funded by the US.

They can be whatever they want, so long as they don’t produce another Hitler.

This particular Muhammad belongs in the bin. Preferably a small one that’s ablaze.

All of Google’s products have been getting progressively worse under their current CEO. He’s the direct driver of their enshitification. I have had Google home speakers since they were released, along with a few other of their “smart” products; every single one of them has declined in performance. They get confused, don’t respond, can’t connect, give the totally wrong answer, glitch out, etc.

I used to be able to run my roomba by voice command without any problems. Nowadays half the time Google responds to the command, confirms it is doing the command, and then does nothing. Last night I used it to turn off the tv, which it did, but then it spontaneously turned back on after 5 seconds.

CEO/MBA malakas are (one of the reasons) why we can’t have nice things.

Ronald Reagan was a super shitty president, and we’re still dealing with the ramifications of his administration. Trump can fuck right off with his bullshit and all-caps “mentally-stable genius” rants. He needs a locked padded room and a therapist.

One step closer to suicide booths. The future is coming.

This is exactly what I was looking for. My day just got infinitely better.

It was because we were moving, donating items we didn’t use as often, and I have other gaming consoles. He’s a great husband.

I have my transparent purple Gameboy tucked in a safe place. My husband had me get rid of my Nintendo 64 a few years ago, and I’m still not over it.