Old “your momma” joke… Your momma so fat when she sits around the house, she sits “around” the house! Meaning that she’s as big as the whole house or even bigger than the house.
Which someone that fat is morbidly obese.
So the joke is a twist on the joke, with a jab at the fat person, in the form of faux concern over their health.
Sort of in the same vein as “bless your heart” or “he/she has a great personality”.
It’s a stab at fat… I can’t help but feel targeted but I’ll have to wait until the stabbing pain in my chest subsides. The shooting pain down my left arm is lessening already! I’m fine, everything’s fine… just let me catch my breath for a moment.
Sometimes it’s also their last diamondback
Sounds like the “undercover spy gear” that was popular for a while. I think there was a cigarette case that folded open and became a gun and, of course, the ink pen telescope plus the ink pen with disappearing ink! And several others as well. It was weird… we all played outside using our imagination to create fabulous worlds in the same backyard that was a grand prix track yesterday and an undersea exploration spot the day before that. A stick was a horse one minute, a cane the next, a rifle after that , and a baseball bat… hitting home runs with the bases loaded, winning the world series. Those black walnuts would sail when you made good contact!
Look… ok… it’s right there in my name…old. LOL
Not really new… I think it was part of an old George Carlin bit.
The concept of CHALANCE exists but you cannot nonchalantly introduce it into a conversation.
Hungry?
Having been abducted by aliens myself and having sired offspring, I believe that this would be a good match! We shall vanquish our foes.
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My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I’ll team up and be ok.
It’s high time we take control of all these wild oaks out there. Every single one has thousands of acorns any any one of those might have YOUR name on it.
We need action NOW!
We need immediate Oak controls laws. And I damn sure don’t want to hear any of that stale old BS “my oak hasn’t ever harmed anyone”…
Oaks have no place in polite society. End of discussion. Get educated!
BTW that’s all satire. I love oaks. Actually my first knothole was an oak. I love oaks.
OK, at first I saw a Shar Pei with a frog in it mouth…
For many years I was getting maybe 2 hours sleep a night. The slightest sound would wake me up and then I’d lay there trying to get back to sleep. Which spiraled into me getting up to pee 3 or 4 times a night. I read about Valerian root being great for helping fall asleep so I tried it with little hope. 2 capsules half an hour before bed. I nodded off easily and woke up a few hours later. 3 straight hours of sleep was unheard-of for me.
Then I added a couple 25mg Benadryl to help me stay asleep or go right back to sleep if something woke me up… like my bladder that was now completely trained to need emptying every one and a half to two hours.
Just prior to Covid I got a cpap. It took me a week before I slept thru the night. Happened again the next week… then a couple nights a week. A few years using my cpap and now most nights I sleep right thru or if I do wake up I can nod right back off. I still use the Valerian root and Benadryl every night but neither of those build up a tolerance.
Word of warning: Actually 2… you will not get “high” on Valerian root and the dreams you have will be in ultra high Def technicolor Sid and Marty Kroft bizarre fun dreams. Actually 3… the Valerian root smells bad. As in 6 week old gym socks marinated in the trunk of your Chevelle during the summer mixed with dog shit. But they help and you only smell it for a second before swallowing.
I also added a sleep eye mask with Bluetooth headphones built in and I listen to positive affirmations blended with mild rain sounds.
So… pills, cpap, headphones mask.
How about Boat4Sale? I mean realistically in 5 years or less that’s what most socials devolve into anyway…
So, yeah…
NOW WITH YAM FILLED BOAR INTESTINES!
Served hot, sliced, with a side of soy and wasabi…
(using secretive slightly agitated conspiracy voice) That’s how they getcha man… Cocaine in the water man… it’s in there on purpose… they get you hooked on the coke and to get it you keep drinking the water to get mooooore! EVERYONE THAT EVER DRANK WATER HAS DIED AT SOME POINT??? (walks away mumbling about tin foil hats and mind control)
Bicycle.
Yesterday while driving on a two lane road with a bike lane there were two people on bikes. What appeared to be a man and a woman in full brightly colored garb and helmets. Both were weaving in the bike lane and/or riding on the dividing line between the bike lane and the road. At one point, as a few cars were approaching them from behind, one of them whips over into the center of the road for no reason other than to block traffic thereby forcing the overtaking cars into the oncoming traffic lane. There was no obstruction on the bike lane. The other rider proceeded with weaving about unpredictably. She simply couldn’t stand the idea of someone safely passing them and forced an unsafe condition for everyone involved…
Can’t Understand Normal Thinking.
I pray that every bike she every rides has a slow leak in both tires no matter how often it is patched or replaced. The more time she spends off the road pumping up the tires, the less time she is endangering herself and others.
Rarely is someone on a bicycle and not an asshole!
A 50 50 will cost you about tree fiddy in these parts. So they say…