No, you’re sincere. We need more of that.

This is correct. I was just trying to be ironic. Sorry if I baited anyone.

Thanks for being kind to me and assuming the best. As it is, I was doing an ironic shtick in the same vein.

Hmm? I’m not familiar with that term. He just left me this bat with his friends’ signatures on it, and a few religious symbols. It’s pretty stained, but it’s got a lot of sentimental value. He didn’t say much except that he used it to teach Nazis a lesson by beating them…at the game of baseball. Always that pause near the end as grandma gave him a sharp look. She must have not wanted me to hear about his baseball stories.

30%: underpaid

40%: immorally underpaid

50%; criminally underpaid

100%: Les Miserables

“Hey, babe! New Hitler Youth merch just dropped!”

“They’re labeling themselves?”

“Yeah! They got race-supremecy friends and everything!”

“Let me grab my grampa’s bat. He beat so many Nazis with this…at the game of baseball of course.”

“Of course.”

[Beat on the Brat by The Ramones plays in the background]

I feel personally attacked.

“Do my job for me?”

“No.”

It’s important to have a scarier, if less dangerous, boogie man when one endeavors to do terrible things to otherwise rational people.

Because we didn’t know what was going on. Reagan paved the way for Trump, and it goes back even further. This has been several decades in the making. Sorry if I’m preaching to the choir here. Thanks for entertaining my rant.

Yeah, but I think that was mass hysteria caused by bad PR. Clowns fill an important niche in the ecosystem. They generally keep to themselves and shy away from people. Confirmed clown attacks are extremely rare. Even the 2016 sightings had more to do with development companies expanding into their historic habitat than clowns actively seeking out people. I saw a movie once in which a clown was forced to live in a storm drain after his home was paved over. Starving and panicked, the inevitable happened when he was cornered by a child. Had he been relocated, he could have joined another circus and lived a full life. If you see a clown in town, remain calm. Do not approach the clown. Do not feed it. A fed clown is a dead clown. Contact your local ringmaster. They are especially trained to capture and relocate clowns. If you can, I highly recommend donating to your local clown rescue. As a side benefit, they often have education programs that allow kids to learn about and interact with them safely.

My man!

I like to listen to human music:

Human Music

Would you mind retracting your statement? I feel like this is unfair to clowns.