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Cake day: May 31st, 2023

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  • WHARRGARBL@beehaw.orgtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlHow do you feel you've aged?
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    3 months ago

    I’m the poster child for The Road Not Taken. It’s been a weird and wild ride.

    The same since single-digit age:

    • Still strongly align with the Party of the European Left (I’m from USA)
    • Still a devout zoophilist
    • Still prefer vegan food

    Different at 62:

    • Less physical strength & flexibility
    • Switched from theist to atheist
    • Learning to enjoy my irrelevance

    ETA: zoophilist

    A zoophilist is generally defined as someone who has a deep love or affinity for animals, often expressing a strong emotional connection to them and advocating for their rights, welfare, and protection.

    Nothing sexual there, people. I abhor animal abuse, but I’m blown away by how restrained your responses were in an effort to be inclusive. Also, I don’t have a penis.



  • I was a court advocate for victims of domestic violence, volunteering at the same facility that had helped me escape an extreme situation. Having noticed that there was no federal, state, local, or private list of resources for people in crisis, I approached the director to request permission to compile a comprehensive guide and make it publicly available. Although I would’ve done it for free, the director saw the need and suggested this should be a highly-paid position; she announced the job opening to everyone at the next meeting.

    A woman I’d never seen before expressed interest at the meeting, so I introduced myself and offered to collaborate to make the publication a success. We were scheduled to make our presentation to the board in a month. I gathered my half of the research and negotiated with businesses to donate materials and operating expenses, so that this program would be self-sustaining. I contacted the other woman every couple days to update her on what I’d accomplished, and to gather her data. She never had anything except excuses, so I gathered her share of the data, too.

    On the day of the meeting, I’d done 100% of the work, which I’d happily shared with her, and I had put together the entire presentation. I didn’t mind, because this was a valuable community service. I arrived early for the meeting and sat outside the closed boardroom, waiting for my “partner”, but she never showed up.

    At precisely the agreed-upon time for our meeting to start, the boardroom door opened and my partner emerged, grinning as everyone congratulated her. Yeah. I still didn’t get it.

    I was ushered in and was asked to make my presentation. I was quickly interrupted because the board wanted to see MY efforts, not the work of the other woman. They accused me of stealing her work and told me to leave.

    The other woman received a hefty salary for almost a year, but she never even bothered to use my research and connections to make even one flyer. Eventually she was fired and the failed community service idea became anathema to the facility.

    That fucker changed the meeting time, stole my work and all the credit for it, scammed herself into the position, took the salary from the outreach budget, and destroyed the comprehensive resource list that would have helped tens of thousands of people in crisis.





  • The US has become a cautionary tale for:

    • Refusing Universal Healthcare

    • Opposing Racial and Cultural Equity

    • Revoking Women’s Bodily Autonomy

    • Expanding Excessive Incarceration

    • Exonerating Police Violence

    • Dismissing Effective Gun Control

    • Ignoring Mass Shootings

    • Denying Veteran and First Responder Care

    • Allowing Environmental Toxins

    • Approving Carcinogens in Food

    • Condoning High Infant Mortality

    • Eradicating LGTBQ+ Rights

    • Encouraging Religion in Government

    • Dismantling Social Services

    • Rejecting Living Wage, Retirement, and Pension Issues

    • Persecuting the Low-income and Homeless

    • Promoting the Purchase of Politicians and Judges



  • HP lured me away from Apple about 15 years ago, with promises of better pay and benefits. I made the mistake of believing their lies, and proceeded to work in one of the most hostile environments I’d ever encountered. Aside from the open and constant sexual harassment, I was horrified to see customer service maliciously transfer callers to dead extensions or to the branch in the Philippines, then laugh about it. “Tech support” was for selling more products, not for resolving issues. Management was a shitshow of nepotism, falling-over-drunkenness, corruption, office affairs, and massive cover-ups.

    I lasted 8 months, then I fled back to Apple, but I’ll never forget how HP blatantly loathed the customers.




  • Thank you for your clarity. I don’t know how common it is for people to directly question existence, social contracts, our roles and purposes, but I imagine your thoughts resonate with many of us; the experiences and perceptions you shared are deeply familiar to me.

    Since your story helped me understand where you’re at, I will reciprocate with a story for you.

    I never quite succeeded at living a life that resulted in genuine acceptance from relatives, religious circles, authority figures , or peers. I tried to fit in for awhile, and to even please others a few times, but it isn’t who I am and it shows. This disconnect allowed me to metaphorically wander into the wilds.

    For over 30 years, I explored almost all big religions and some philosophies, and by the time I was in my late 40’s I finally embraced my atheism with a growing sense of liberation, although I don’t mention it around theists. I think it scares them, and who am I to yank away anyone’s security blanket?

    I’ve lived a long and unconventional life with my own credo. Sometimes this meant fine tuning who is in my life, and who is excluded, which can be controversial - but for me it’s been a relief. Also, controversy is just one spice in a feast.

    I agree with you that institutions or culture leaders or mythological deities can’t dictate what is good. My direction has always come from within because that’s the loudest voice*, and when I need to be reminded of what that means, I focus on the REAL life around me.

    I don’t look for a purpose or a life well-lived because humans are no different than fish or rabbits or deer … except for how we lost our way. Seriously, look at the animals; this is what I mean by REAL life. They don’t waste their energy striving for someone else’s declared ideal. They don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow. They don’t get wound up in possible outcomes or fake rewards. They just … are.

    As you stated, we are briefly here on an insignificant rock spinning around in a tiny solar system of a regular galaxy, in one universe among countless universes, and we weren’t deliberately placed here to hoard crap, exert “dominion”, destroy everything, or delude ourselves that we should be famous or rich or impactful. (Okay, I took your thought and ran a bit with it.)

    My life is filled with the things I need to do for survival, with interludes of connection that bring me joy. I try to not think too much about the survival part because for humans it’s so contrived, and it blocks natural feelings. My biggest struggle is keeping that shit where it doesn’t ruin the things that matter.

    And what matters is YOUR call. Time with the people you love or being immersed in music or reading or looking at stars or laughing at how your dog zooms or touching trees or breathing or … whatever you want. As long as you can be in the moment with your true self, you aren’t wasting this magical blink of life.

    *I don’t have an actual voice within, because I have total Aphantasia.