You exist, and you are who you are, and that is ok. You may believe that you have failed, and feel guilty or ashamed of that, and that’s ok too. You sound lonely, rejected, and really hurt by your experiences, “something for everyone to dislike”. These feelings suck, but internalizing them and telling yourself that you are a problem can be really unhelpful. You are worthy of acceptance, with what flaws you see in yourself. This isn’t really a great forum for personal, intimate discussion, but I do hope you can talk about your experiences with someone you trust.