• 3 Posts
  • 41 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • Because they are, for some baffling reason, deciding proactively to ruin the peanut butter after having blended it into smooth, creamy perfection! Then they have the gall to place it right next to the good stuff, likely with intent to fool unwitting passersby into bringing it home with further hopes that the children who have never tasted smooth peanut butter and fall victim to experiencing the crunchy version as their initial exposure will be hooked on the worse version for the rest of their lives.

    If that’s not malice, I don’t know what is.

    (Really heavy /s, just in case)




  • This is how the world can finally come together. We can create a New Old Australia, using the island-building techniques the Chinese government have been trying to develop but instead using it for the benefit of all. Literally no one wants these assholes. Let’s make them their own giant sand island and send them there. No Aborigines or any other nativelanders need be displaced like in the past. We just… Eject them to Billionaire Island and tell them they’ve entered the final level of capitalism, they are allowed no outside resources and must establish for themselves (brilliant and enterprising and egotistical as we reassure them they are) how to become the Ultimate Capitalist. Tell them it’s even televised. Then if they ever get too noisy we obviously need a way to forcibly erode the island etc. Engineers can figure out the details.