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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • If you’re serious about this I’d suggest a few things first. Find a poly friendly couples therapist and do a few appointments. Even if your relationship is totally secure you’ll get some good things about it. Read the book Polysecure. Look for polyamory or ENM spaces online and read, chat with others. What you’re describing is more of a V relationship with your wife as the hinge, or possibly a full throuple with you and the other guy as a platonic relationship. The main thing to remember is that everyone needs to be equal, and there’s really 4 relationships in play here:

    You and your wife

    Him and your wife

    You and him

    All three of you

    It’s possible to be ethical as a triad, but it’s work all the way around.












  • cowfodder@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    3 months ago

    Lots of comments mentioning open relationships/polyamory/ethical non-monogamy. The problem is that you can’t have ethical non-monogamy if it starts from an unethical place. I agree that you need to sit down with her and talk about things, but without a serious repair to this trust breach and probably some couples counseling you can probably consider this relationship over.