404 is great, too, for coverage of those topics.
Defector is worth a special mention in large part because it’s one of the few places on the internet that still makes me laugh out loud. It’s ostensibly a sports site, but when they stray off topic it’s some of the best stupid shit on the internet.
I think of it more as a set of skills that needs to be maintained, and is easier to do when regularly engaged.
There was a comment recently that I really liked, here, by @RBWells@lemmy.world :
I think people do not recognize the immense value of weak interpersonal bonds, like going to the same corner store all the time. But they are the glue that holds society together. It’s not the deep friendships, you can only have a few of those. It’s those people you are acquainted with, and look forward to seeing, people you wave to, all those little connections add up.
The little weak bonds help keep you grounded so that you can tighten and bolster the deeper and more meaningful bonds. I’m a better friend to my closest friends in large part because I have the experience and lessons learned from past situations with friendship: how to be supportive when a friend is going through a death in the family, a divorce, a period of unemployment, how to celebrate with a friend getting married, having new kids, etc. Each little situation presents an opportunity to be a good friend (and gives better information about what you can expect from your good friends), and just basically sharpens those social bonds and your ability to navigate them in a way that enriches your own life and your friends’ lives.
So it’s not a finite amount of juice. It’s a muscle that can be made stronger, and I’d argue is worth actively making stronger.
I’m making lifelong friends in this Wendy’s right now.
I’m baffled by some of the responses in this thread. Yes, it’s harder to make friends in one’s 20’s than in the teens, and harder to make friends in one’s 30’s than in one’s 20’s.
But to act like it’s inevitable, or even desirable, to not make new friendships after the age of 20 seems like overstating things.
The people you grow up with and befriend at a young age share those similar roots. That will always be valuable in friendships.
And the people you befriend later in life, through your hobbies, your career, your neighborhood, your mutual relationships also share those commonalities, and that will bring something valuable to those relationships, too. One of the most things I love about meeting, dating, and marrying my wife is that it mingled our two worlds of friends, and a lot of the friends I met through her in my 30’s are now some of my best friends today.
I rely on local friends for things that require geographical closeness. I rely on fellow parents for parenting support (including favors, advice, even jokes/rants). I am close with former and current colleagues, and we talk shop, careers, people we know, and sometimes refer each other to job opportunities or other work.
There is a certain richness that comes from multiple social relationships evolving and developing over time, including repeat acquaintances, superficial friendships, all the way to very close or very intimate friendships. We’re all just walking through life in different stages, and each stage has different needs and opportunities to rely on and provide support to your social network.
Is there a correlation, inverse or otherwise, between the quality of friendships and the quantity of friends?
Defector is fucking great. It’s the team that made Deadspin magical, who all revolted when Deadspin got bought by private equity and run into the ground, and banded together to form an employee-owned outlet whose authors are just all great writers.
The editor in chief of Deadspin, who fought the dumb decisions when private equity took over, ended up resigning in a blaze of glory by posting this article on the site as she left.
She also has a great new book out on how private equity breaks things.
The developers of the Lemmy software are the admins of the lemmy.ml instance and are problematic. The complaint is that the software itself can’t be separated from the priorities of the .ml instance.
Piefed doesn’t have the same issue, even if the flagship instance federates with .ml
It’s a California Kong, which is two California kings tied together with gorilla leather.
I think the parent comment is talking about piefed the software, compared to Lemmy the software, not the specific piefed.social instance they’re posting from.
slightly niche
Sports is like the most mainstream of interests, and lemmy still doesn’t have a critical mass of sports discussion in general, much less specific sports/leagues, specific teams, specific games/matches, or specific players.
So I keep my reddit sports account.
I also keep an account for my local city subreddit, and one for my career field, because Lemmy doesn’t have those either.
A lot of young people don’t realize just how difficult post-school dating was before online dating. Once we exhausted the pool of 5-10 single people who were friends of friends, that was basically it. We’d have to go find strangers at the bar.
That conditioned everyone to be slightly more willing to settle for less perfect matches, knowing that there wasn’t necessarily a replacement available. That could be a good thing (people more likely to have the patience to let a spark develop) or a bad thing (a higher percentage of couples who just resented each other).
I can see an argument that things were better before online dating for some subset of people. But having lived that period, I can say from experience that it wasn’t easy then, either. And for someone like me, who is a better writer than I am a speaker, especially over the phone, the rise of text-based communication was helpful for navigating the early stages of relationships when that became the norm.
Obvious Plant puts fake products on shelves.
True Wagner puts absurd flyers on telephone poles and bulletin boards.
This is more of a True Wagner situation.
I still use reddit.
Lemmy is still missing a few things:
I’ve deleted the reddit alts I used to use for technology related topics, parenting/relationship topics, political discussion, and stupid general purpose humor or memes, as Lemmy has enough of that I don’t need Reddit for those topics. But for the ones I’ve listed above, I’m still using desktop “old” Reddit.
I’m also still on Instagram, but only follow people I know personally. It’s the easiest way to keep up with my acquaintances’ lives: who’s marrying who, who’s having kids, where people have moved, etc.
Phosphates were banned in dishwasher detergents in 2011, so most of the name brand companies switched to enzyme-based cleaners that use amylase and protease, which dissolve starches and proteins, respectively. And then some traditional detergent, which allows oil and water to mix, washes it all away.
The nature of the enzymes are that as soon as they’ve broken up the starch or protein, they survive the reaction and can happily move onto the next starch or protein molecule. So if they’re overactive, without enough targets, then any portion of the dishes that are sensitive to that particular cleaner is going to get a higher “dose” of that cleaner working specifically at it.
If you have 2 apples, and then I give you 2 more, you don’t suddenly have 5 apples because we all decided 2+2=5.
No, but some types of addition follow their own rules.
Sometimes 1+1 is 2. One Apple plus one Apple is two apples.
Sometimes 1+1 is 1. Two true statements joined together in conjunction are true.
Sometimes 1+1 is 0. Two 180° rotations is the same as if you didn’t rotate the thing at all.
If you don’t define what kind of addition you’re talking about, then it’s not precise enough to talk through what is or isn’t true.
I have a model of everything. Everything I am, my understanding of the world, it all fits together like a web. New ideas fit by their relationship to what I already know - maybe I’m missing nodes to fit it in and I can’t accept it
Same, and I would add the clarification that I have a model for when and why people lie, tell the truth, or sincerely make false statements (mistake, having been lied to themselves, changed circumstances, etc.).
So that information comes in through a filter of both the subject matter, the speaker, and my model of the speaker’s own expertise and motivations, and all of those factors mixed together.
So as an example, let’s say my friend tells me that there’s a new Chinese restaurant in town that’s really good. I have to ask myself whether the friend’s taste in Chinese restaurants is reliable (and maybe I build that model based on proxies, like friend’s taste in restaurants in general, and how similar those tastes are with my own). But if it turns out that my friend is actually taking money to promote that restaurant, then the credibility of that recommendation plummets.
Is there another kind of table?
That’s the possibly apocryphal origin story of Spanish tapas, too: a slice of bread to cover the wine glass between sips (hence the name “tapa,” which means a “cover”), then a few things to dress up that slice of bread, maybe a piece of meat or cheese. So traditionally a single tapa is served for each glass of wine you order.
Especially if she gave them a good deal
a woman who cheated on them
Hmmmmmm
Tim Whatley