Offices are actually chill if you take out the cubicles and stuff. They are spacious, neutral, and have a bathroom and roof access.

I shower every two or three days.

I am not a doctor, but you should see one because that should not sting.

No soldier left behind.

Non shampoo days?

On weekends I don’t use deodorant so in the shower my armpits get a refresh.

At least keep the direct quotes intact.

Tropical Storm*

Hey, just here to let you know that I 100% agree with you. You’re being attacked for no reason.

How do you hear words through the screams of the tortured?

Not until Thursday.

Where do I find that?

No, it was a day trip and my job starts up again on Tuesday.

How’s your wood?

You put way too much trust into fake meat.

What?

I missed the mark on going there, but it would have been cool.

The closest that I got was axe throwing.

Nifty.

Isn’t that also the equation for finding your youngest possible date? I’m 27 and according to that my lower limit is 20.5.