I don’t think that’s the issue. Basically the OP doesn’t know what she is walking into (funny video, huge house/financial problem, or life threatening situation) and that is causing stress/resentment about the “come here.”

It’s definitely not “her alone” that needs counseling. Why doesn’t her partner just tell her what’s going on? Why the need to cause her so much stress so he can have a “big reveal”?

If he continues to do it after a serious conversation and her creating a boundary (eg, not going unless her partner tells her what’s going on), then they both need counseling.

I believe the person commenting is trying to establish if you have “standing” by the legal definition. If no harm/damages or potential harm/damages can be proven, most judges will not hear a case per lack of standing.

Oh gawd. I knew things were heading in this direction, but this sounds just horrible. Walled gardens everywhere.