please apt install clang
User isn't in polite boy list. This incident will be reported.
side note: My all-time favorite linux utility is “fuck”. When you make a mistake and get a command line error, you type the word fuck and it looks at what you previously typed and the error message, and tries to figure out your mistake and what you should have typed instead. Then it types that in for you. If it’s correct all you have to do is hit Enter. Or you can edit first, but it’s usually right. Amazing tool, and doesn’t even use AI, just a list of common errors. It’s been around for years and years. Its mere existence really captures the whole culture of linux IMO.
Its name is dangerously close to fsck. Can you fuck fsck?
That’s the beauty of it - you can!
See, I couldn’t bring myself to type that; I think I’d have to alias it to ‘bother’.
alias alias='alias'
I’m scared of you
alias go-go-gadget=sudo
$ go-go-gadget apt update
alias bridge-to-engineering=sudo
alias computer=sudo
$ scotty-i-need-more cowbell
I love this haha
please remove the French language pack
please rm -fr /*
Some people just wanna see the world burn
For people that don’t get the joke: this messes up your system
If you’re out of the loop: this is part of the joke tricking people into dedicating precious hard drive space to an unnecessary language pack.
Now a days you have add —no-preserve root after the laggy French pack to fully remove it.
Not with the asterisk! The shell automatically expands the asterisk before sending the args to rm, removing every French language pack in your root directory.
I aint typing out ‘please’, I will compromise on
alias plz='sudo'
shit, that’s a radical move
alias ty='exit'
please killall
I see…
Make sure to combine it with
Disallow /harm/to/humans
I might actually do this, it seems nice.
suddenly makes the xkcd much more wholesome too
Likewise
Or do the opposite for…relief
Fucking mv doc doc1
Fucking shutdown
fucking touch my-doc
please touch my-doc
🥺👉👈( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I thought for sure, for sure this was bullshit. For sure Linux doesn’t have a touch command. What could it possibly do.?
Changing timestamps and creating empty files…
Of course, that makes so much sense. 🤔
It does make sense! When you modify a file, you do “things” on it, you write it. So the minimum you can possibly do to a file to modify it, is “to poke it”: to touch it.
I mean I’m sure that’s the logic or something but…
Man it just feels wrong. Like the sonic hedgehog gene feels wrong. You know?
Hahahha, I just learnt about that gene a little while ago and thought the same: that’s an stupid name for a gene. How would you name them? (the gene and the command)
Imagine being a doctor telling a couple their fetus died because of a sonic hedgehog gene mutation, tho. (This does happen)
Like, it won’t matter in another few hundred years, but culture is difficult right now.
Makes me wonder if the romans did meme shit like that. They graffiti shitposted and whatever so…
Luckily nobody asks me what I would name shit because my pets are testament to my complete lack of creativity. 😊
I would call the gene
fingerer
Ah Donglegate, good times. Even funnier that the guy who got fired because of this lady’s tweet sided with her like a meek little bitch.
I wonder if you could make it sass you every so often to complete the effect.
Fucking shutdown
Chill my man. I’m on it.
I prefer to use
kudasai
… but as some may already know, it should be at the end of thesentencecommand 😅, so I added a custom hook to my ZSH config to make it run commands aspacman -Syu kudasai
.Essentially you can add any type of string matching in the function. Add this to the end of your
.zshrc
file:function kudasai_preexec() { # Check if the last word is ' kudasai' if [[ $1 == *" kudasai" ]]; then # Remove ' kudasai' and prepend 'sudo' cmd=${1%" kudasai"} eval "sudo $cmd" # Prevent the original command from running return 1 fi } # Register the preexec hook autoload -Uz add-zsh-hook add-zsh-hook preexec kudasai_preexec
Edit: as downside you always get
1
exit code with this implementation (little_annoying) .damn, this is some next level shit
Why does it compare against
$1
for the string match? Wouldn’tkudasai
be at the end of something like$*
?
please shutdown
THIS INCIDENT WILL BE REPORTED.
please rm -rf /
$ alias please="sudo"
$ alias stay="shutdown"
$ please stay_
Oof right in the feels
Use
shutdown -h now
or-P 0
Or just use
poweroff
alias fuck=sudo !!
I much prefer this package for my
fuck
command https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck