I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
People that like you are more likely to help you. If you tell them to fuck off they’re not going to like you, and they’re not going to help you. And they make just make your life worse depending on how much of an ass you are. They’re probably trying to talk to you because they see you (presumably) looking miserable and want to be nice.
If that’s your only view of jobs you’ll probably never find one that will make you happy. Have you considered finding a different job that you’d actually enjoy? You’re much more likely to enjoy talking to your co workers when you’re surrounded by likeminded people.
in what fantasy land do you live where jobs are supposed to make you happy?
are you claiming your job makes you happy? Why don’t you do it for free?
Is your job your whole identity?
regarding your first paragraph, stop assuming.
No, turn this around. Everyone needs a way to pay the bills. But there are lots of ways to pay them. Lots of different jobs.
Would you rather work at a job where you’re happy or where you’re miserable?
A lot of people find their jobs easier if they’re on friendly terms with their coworkers.
Please note, this is not the same as being close friends with your coworkers.
I’d rather not work
Way to not answer the question
deleted by creator
What are you talking about? YOU are the one who responded to the question “given you have to work, would you rather have a job you like or a job you hate” with the answer “I’d rather just not work”. I’m aware the vast majority, including myself, need to work. You’re the only one suggesting you wouldn’t work.
The guy who asked you the question was saying that the fact that we have to work is just that, a fact. So how are you going to make that fact more bearable? They were suggesting you should try to find work or a workplace that doesn’t leave you in dread of every work day, or at the very least finding a way to set boundaries at work or make peace with small talk being a part of your day. Those things are not always easy or feasible in the short term, but they’re saying that should be your goal.
So… Just quit your job, and problem solved.
deleted by creator
OP showing his true colors, here.
I’m guessing a lot of repressed anger.
deleted by creator
At a private American university.
A few years ago I was injured on the job and couldn’t work for a few months. While I was out someone suggested this book to me. "Discover What You Are Best At’ by Linda Gail.
I got the book and used it. It’s a series of self administered tests to see what areas you excel in. then there’s a list of jobs that use those skills. The book pointed me at a career I’d never considered. Turns out, having a job where you fit in makes your life a lot better.
I love my job. I am extremely passionate about my field of work and absolutely do things in the same field in my free time. I know many people who truly do what they love and love what they do. Maybe we’re just plain lucky or maybe we were about to make our passions profitable.
And that’s the key. Not all passions are profitable. If people only did jobs to make money and hated it the entire time we’d have 0 teachers here in the US since we don’t pay them for shit. But we have teacher who love their job and are fine making less money because the joy of teaching kids makes up for it. It’s a balance of enjoyment and money. Unless you’re lucky and just really like something that pays a fuck ton.
It’s not a fantasy, it’s my current job right now.
You could argue I do with all the overtime I do. Granted that overtime leads to getting more raises so I don’t know if that qualifies.
The opposite, I made my hobbies my job. I love fucking around with computers so I got a job fucking around with computers.
Find a job you love, and find a job filled with people who will love you back. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. You may need to move, you may need to go back to school. And worst of all, you may need to schmooze. Nepotism and cronyism gets jobs. Having a large network of people you associate with, and know what you want is probably the biggest key to getting the job of your dream.
how is that doing it for free?
I’m salaried. The amount of hours I work has no impact on the pay I get.
deleted by creator
Yes. I don’t spend 80 hours a week on overtime it’s like 5 or 6 a week, maybe a bit more of I’m doing work in between down time doing other stuff.
I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to say with that. Are you trying to say I’m being manipulated into working overtime? You could argue that to a degree, but I only do it when I feel like doing it, or there’s shit to be done. I get paid bonuses for meeting goals so I mostly work extra to make sure we hit those goals and get phat paychecks. It also gives me time to fuck around during the day when I’m bored and just want to fuck off.