According to this thing, I’m a solar panel

Put peanut butter on your balls

I’m successfully jacking up someone’s sagging floor as one of my first solo jobs. I don’t want to make being my own boss a lifestyle, but it’s cool to have the confidence that I can ditch my future bosses at any time and just fly solo for a bit til I get a new one.

I lack the subtlety to tell you if my cast iron pan cooks better or makes anything taste better, but I can assure you it regularly survives abuse that would ruin a Teflon pan in days.

Oh, giving ourselves endless lifespans is a fine endeavor. We’ve got plenty of ways to adapt to changing environments without changing our bodies, and we’re pretty close to being able to do that without dying and evolving anyway. Shit might get weird, but it always does with us.

I just want to drop in and call out “death is a design flaw” specifically. It is not. Without death, there can be no evolution, and any change to the environment is extinction.

The mountains seem eternal, but there were forests before many of them, and though the trees will be different in the distant eons when the mountains are worn to nothing, the forests will live on.

Maybe they just realize having kids is hard.

Russia’s hybrid war with the West comes to mind. The invasion of Ukraine has turned out that way too, although it was intended to be a quick resource grab.

Nope, it’s because we shot that gorilla.

The real reason I’m better than the console plebs is that I still play multiplayer on twenty-year-old games.

Impeach, remove, convict. Once that’s done, we can work on reversing the decades of economic squeezing we’ve allowed due to apathy or ignorance.

The place has been described to me as an oppressive shithole similar to North Korea. I know nothing else about it.

Not one single comment, no. At least not as far back as I can remember. Over time, though.

This really can’t happen, but most of the consequences would probably be volcanic at that size. The sudden pressure from a lump thicker than the Earth’s crust would cause earthquakes and probably set off volcanoes.

Lots of people would die from the chaos and likely ensuing volcanic winter, but we’d mostly get by. If there’s anything valuable in it like a mountain of platinum, conflicts over its resources could be more deadly than the impact.

Carpenter here, this is correct. If I showered only in the morning, I’d develop an acne problem and mess up my sheets. I would live in pretty serious discomfort in my evenings, dusty and sticky. Showering morning and night would be fine, but morning only would be extremely nasty. You can’t do that with a dirty job unless you are an absolute creature.

Problem is, it’s not even funny anyway. Just a super basic version of the most tired stereotype in the public conscious. Ha ha Jew stingy. Okay.

Oh no, what the fuck is this?

PellMySmenis

What I’ve read sounds like a medical emergency. Not getting my hopes up though.

Hyper Beam. It’d probably be quick. Or maybe guillotine.