Hold my flashbang, I’m going in!

Tommy Cooper. A bit old school these days but a funny guy. He specialised in doing magic tricks badly for comedic effect, so when he died people really thought it was part of the show.

Here’s a classic: Spoon jar jar spoon.

First, they came for the trans people* and I did nothing because I am not trans.
Then they came for the immigrants and I did nothing because I am not an immigrant.
Then they came for women’s rights and I did nothing because I am not a woman.
Then they came for the… wait, what? Hold up!

* They came really hard for the trans people. Like strangely hard. Like they had some kind of fixation.

The only way to stop a bad guy with some porn…

Bonfire Night is really just not that big a deal over here. I’d happily bet you one shiny new pence piece that he’s in the US today.

Again, this is not the original, but I seem to recall seeing it in the late 90s.

And this was definitely 90s.

Oops. Yup, utter failed to put Bs! Put it down to not having had enough coffee today!

Thanos’ plan was unmitigated garbage anyway.

Humanity reached 4B in 1975 and hit 8B in 2022. On that basis, if half of humanity died when Thanos snapped his fingers 50 years later we’d be back to 8B people again.

——— Edited to billions not millions because I wrote it while under the influence of stupidity.

Do you think if the electoral college was banned that criminals would give up theirs? Wake up, the only thing that stops a bad guy with an electoral college is a good guy with an electoral college!

I mean I have a tiny bit of respect for Beardy McNazi in the back there, not afraid to show his facist face. A tiny bit. Maybe an iota.

Mayonnaise.

Look to get out of their way, move over, pull over, whatever, and try to let them past.

I like to imagine that anyone who is tailgaiting me is a bomb-defusal tech on their way to defuse a bomb at an orphanage for blind children. Then I get out of their way and wish them god speed to their vital mission! “Go save those blind orphans, you goddam hero!”

My lemmy experience is not like your lemmy experience.

I’m Scottish and don’t know what the fuck % I am.

I’m guessing 67% German, 22% American at this point.

I also understand the sentiment that the internet is effectively a US invention dating back at least to ARPAnet.

Yeah, but this is a website. Sir Tim Berners-Lee represent!

Plus also, English is an English invention.

But otherwise, you’re good.

lingua franca

I love that the real lingua franca, a term from both Latin and Greek roots, literally meaning the language of the Franks (French) is English. Plus, also, fuck you Esperanto!

Heavily inspired by the Sumerian cuneiform but yes

Oh. I’m shit out of luck then.

Be me.
Be 12.
With my friend, steal a pack of ciggies from his mum.
Smoke a couple in low ground between two fields, surrounded by Meadow Pipits and Chiffchaffs.

Didn’t bother for a fair few years after that. Never really got into it, but enjoyed the acceptable work breaks that came with it for a while. Haven’t smoked more than a cigar or two a year for the last 25 years.

You would think this would fall faster than this, wouldn’t you?