I did a practicum in a federal prison for a year and somehow my supervisor and I got onto the topic of bathroom use (probably just talking about the reality of incarcerated live). I’ll never forget it because it was such a candid moment for him when he said: real thugs sit. Nothing else added, just let it be said like that. People that don’t clean up after themselves definitely grinds my gears.
What kind of damned animal doesn’t rinse their dishes after washing them with soap?! I refuse to accept there are people out there doing this and if there are: I am not mad, I am just deeply disappointed in you.
Same here, it’s been a fun experience.
And why shouldn’t you get pockets, after all it is your garment.
But what if you’re not Scottish or have Scottish heritage? Does that have an effect on how good you look doing it? I mean, it’s seeems to be not as natural if you’re not Scottish, but I guess what do I know, I’m only 25% Irish and 25% Norwegian.
Yeah I have a couple questions with the first being, how dare they?
To add another part on from another clinical psychologist/therapist: it seems like sometimes just assuming what the person is looking for validation or help can cause some problems one way or the other. Sometimes just asking directly what they are looking for is worthwhile. It can be a beneficial exercise in clarifying expectations and takes out chance for a “wrong” (used VERY loosely) choice of approach or possibly missed signals. Personally and anecdotally, it seems to bring more awareness into the equation for everyone involved overtime (if doing so with a partner/friend/family member/etc.).
How I made the decision: asked myself do I want to have children because that is what I want or because that is what is expected/wanted by others? For me, it was the latter. I have been incredibly happy with the decision, though I’m also incredibly fortunate and privileged to be in the spot my partner and I are in.
My partner and I had the luxury of me being in grad school as the “excuse” for why we hadn’t had kids. Then student loans. But at a certain point that was unfair to us and our parents. My partner is an only child so her parents won’t have grandkids. I have a brother who has kids.
Avoiding uncomfortable conversations and putting the wants of other people before yours is something we all do. However, doing that with bringing a whole living being is, in my opinion, a recipe for fucking disaster.
If you want kids because you want to, then you should. If you don’t want kids because you don’t, then you shouldn’t. If your partner is on a different wavelength, you need to have a very adult conversation. The decision to bring a life into this world (especially at this point) is huge. This is also not a conversation to convince the other person you’re right (this goes for your partner too).
I hope you are able to make this decision in a way that fits best for you.