It sounds like you are super depressed right now, and I’m sad you’re going through that.

There are a lot of things out there that are worth living for, and some great experiences to be had. But I’ve had severe depression in the past myself… and I’ll be honest, no one could convince me in that moment that life was ever going to be a positive experience again. So I doubt I will be able to convince you right now.

What I do hope you’ll hear right now, is that your own assessment of life can’t be trusted at the moment. Depression is like a feedback loop. It makes us feel hopeless, and prevents us from believing better things are ever possible. I promise you, there is some way to get help. And your depression is going to tell you I’m wrong. Or that if you could find help, there wouldn’t be any thing they could actually do to help. Don’t trust your depression. It makes us lie to ourselves. There’s help to be had, and you’ll never know if it could help if you don’t actually try.

Don’t trust your self right now. Look for help. Tell professional people that you feel suicidal and trust them to help.

Not necessarily. I definitely go through waves like this, and it doesn’t feel like depression to me.

I’ll have a couple of days (or weeks) where I want to do things, but not enough to actually motivate myself to start any of it. Then I’ll bounce back for a while and be so focused on something that I’ll forget about taking care of basic needs like eating and sleeping.

I’ve kinda learned to embrace those extremes. What I hate is the middle ground where I want to focus and get something done, but I realize about every 5 minutes that my brain is off topic again.

Tough question, because there are some great ones.

A recent favorite from the Netflix era has been “Cry Wilderness”. The movie was laughably bad in the first place, but that just made it great for the MST3k treatment.

So many great lines in there. Like the old man talking about how all the animals and nature are his family and friends and they voice the bird responding with “He’s not my friend. I’m not indigenous to this area. Please call the police.” That cracked me up so bad the first time I didn’t hear anything else for at least the next few minutes.

And also the running gag around terribly unsafe firearm handling: “BANG!”

That now goes through my head whenever a show just waves a gun around like an obvious prop instead of at least pretending it could be dangerous.

Yeah, we are a nation, but I can definitely see how we might look a bit dysfunctional from the outside.

First and foremost, remember that it is very rare for someone to write an article or post about things that are doing just fine. So you are mostly going to hear about disagreements or angry opponents or laws that are problematic. That kind of content gets more views.

I’ll also say that our 2 party system is practically designed to cause division and arguments. And it is always at its worst during presidential election years. But at the average citizen level, most of us are just going about our lives with no pent up malice for those who don’t see the world the same as us. We definitely have generalizations in our head about people from other areas of the country, but with a few radical exceptions, the vast majority of Americans view ourselves as a nation. Even if we don’t agree on a lot of the details.

I did bad.

But I expected to do bad. AI generation has become too good.

You tell yourself you can identify them, because sometimes you notice weird artifacts and spot the AI quickly. But we’re really only noticing the bad ones. We’ll never even know the good ones were AI most of the time, so we can’t balance how good we think we are at spotting them against how often we were actually wrong.

This morning actually. I ran the sound system for a memorial service today. Young man lost to gun violence, not even 25 yet.

Felt weird for getting choked up, because I didn’t actually know him personally. Just hard to see all those people hurting because of a senseless and violent tragedy. And rough to know that his life ended so early and all that potential was just gone in a moment.