This is me. Help how do i do stuff?
Stimulants… Or lots of coffee… I mean loooots of coffee
Coffee did not help me. A few years ago i was averaging 2 liters of coffee per day it was a real problem. I don’t drink coffee anymore.
Have you talked with a psychiatrist and gotten a diagnosis yet? That’s a good step to take towards helping yourself, but start with your own doctor of you haven’t already, and get a referral (or however it works in your country). If you have ADHD it’s often that the brain is underestimated hence stimulants work wonders for ADHD to get the brain knocked back on track. You’d probably need to try a variety of stimulants to find what works for you even within the same family of stimulants like release times and brands, small variations can make you react differently.
I wish you the best and hope you’ll find something that works. This forum is a great source of help and motivation.
I dont have a general doctor and last time I tried to get help I got profiled as a drug seeker. Its really turned me off trying to get help but maybe I should try again
Definitely try again. I had a stupid doctor as well and it took me way too long to change it and get proper help. I was so depressed and really bad when I finally got my shit together over 2 years later. I begged for help and told my girlfriend to please not let me slide out of this.
Let me be your push to try again, because everyone deserves help and to be taken seriously. You NEED to go again and insist. Don’t budge. Be the “worst side of yourself” and by that I mean don’t try to hide anything. There’s no reason to try and appear strong and “well functioning” towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else. Tell your doctor about every small little detail of your life that is inhibing you, and tell about all the stupid small stuff you do that you probably barely even notice yourself, like constant fidgeting or thought processes flying crazy for no reason or whatever it might be in your case.
Let the hyperfocus consume you towards getting help😄 and I mean that in the best way possible.
I’ve been there myself and in hindsight I wish someone would have pushed me harder to go get help and insisted I should not give up…
There’s no reason to try and appear strong and “well functioning” towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else.
Just wanted to add onto this something I only recently found out about myself, and I can’t imagine I’m alone in this. There really isn’t a “mask off” version of “me,” because I started so early and it’s been so long (I’m in my 40s). I basically grew around the mask. When the mask is gone, it’s shattered. What’s left of “me” at that point is just a quivering pile of trauma, repression, guilt/shame, and maladaptive coping skills. There’s no in-between, just high- and non-functioning.
Yes, I am in therapy working on it. Double yes, it makes it difficult for anyone to believe that there’s anything amiss until I break. Tis no fun.
It’s good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.
last time I tried to get help I got profiled as a drug seeker.
This is so dumb and lazy, because of course you are seeking a drug, but they have tests they can throw at you that will pretty readily identify if the drug is appropriate for your needs…
Like if they had another actually workable treatment option that wasn’t just “feel really bad about not being able to do things and we’ll teach you how to live with that feeling!” Then fine, we’d all do that and not seek the drugs… but it’s really not our fault that we need stimulants.
So dumb. Anyway, as others have told you, don’t let that one dumbass deter you. As outlined above, they are clearly dumb.
I got put on Ritalin. Was told it’s a miracle drug. All it does is make me extra nervous and jittery but it doesn’t help my (lack of) motivation at all.
Sounds like it could be too high a dose if you get jittery, been there at 30-40mg but 20mg + 10mg both extended release later in the day works really well for me.
Remember that the way Ritalin (methylphenidate) works is not by boosting dopamin but rather slow down dopamin uptake. You still need to create the first “spark of dopamin” yourself that then slowly snowballs itself stronger. I’d say you need to take it at least a few days to weeks to see an effect and learn how it affects you. Start at just 10 to 20mg. Otherwise try another variation of methylphenidate like concerta or medikinet.
Medication + therapy is the magic combo. Adderall was the magic bullet for me but I was lucky, and I hate that it only works for a limited time each day. And even then, it just makes actually doing things not suck. The drive, time management, and understanding what motivates me all come from therapy
The best analogy I found was it’s like wading through a river to get to the other side. Medicine gets you out of the river, but you need therapy to find the bridge and cross it.
Free time helps. But also, finding other people in the hobby/trade to work with helps. Being in a book club is nice, because talking about the book you read can be as much fun as reading the book. Same with art.
I feel like watching new movies is a no-brainer, though. I might suggest pulling from the Criterion Collection on random, maybe by genre. But it’s often fun to watch this stuff with other people.
Got my wife into old movies for a minute. “Bringing up Baby” and “One Two Three” managed to hold up after over 60 years. Give those two a shot.
Some people say “hack yourself” … create a TODO list in anyway you like. First thing on that list is to “create a list” and cross that off after you’ve listed some items.
Keep the items small and doable. Going outside or watch a movie isn’t a “big” item but it’s worth on this list damnit!
Don’t be down on yourself for any reason about doing nothing on the list. If you are, recognize that you did that, forgive yourself for feeling that way and try again. Feel free to throw out items and put even simpler tasks on it, if you can.
Doesn’t work for everyone, but it does work for some.
That sounds more like depression to me. Because, when you really enjoy something, your hyper focus is kicking in and you can’t let go of it.
Or, you really enjoy a hobby but your hyperfocus makes you research the hobby instead of doing it. E.g. you like photography and your hyperfocus kicks in researching places to go take photos, or gear to buy… Or you spend hours choosing the best cycling route until it’s too dark or the weather changes and you go “What happened to my beautiful afternoon??”.
My hyperfocus tends to kick in whenever the ADHD gremlin inside my brain chooses, not always when I’m doing whatever I enjoy. I wish that was always the case.
Fuck. This is me with music production about a month ago. I produced exactly 5 seconds of music trying to learn it after several days of endlessly learning about it.
5 good seconds?
This is me with videogames
My research time is around 20-23:00 and on weekends can end around 1-2am.
Too bad for my sleep schedule ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The hyper focus only kicks in when i’m doing something, the problem is to start to do something
Precisely. When trying to talk to others about this, I usually use the term activation energy
Understanding it doesn’t help in alleviating it, though.
Send help!
We are just too much of an endothermic reaction.
I don’t know, I find that my hyperfocus doesn’t kick in until I start doing something
Not necessarily. I definitely go through waves like this, and it doesn’t feel like depression to me.
I’ll have a couple of days (or weeks) where I want to do things, but not enough to actually motivate myself to start any of it. Then I’ll bounce back for a while and be so focused on something that I’ll forget about taking care of basic needs like eating and sleeping.
I’ve kinda learned to embrace those extremes. What I hate is the middle ground where I want to focus and get something done, but I realize about every 5 minutes that my brain is off topic again.
*wants to doomscroll* *does*
Of course that’s the only one that actually worksIt’s because the time-to-dopamine and minimum time commitment are short.
The minimum time commitment is what gets me. I can have my phone out and social media open in seconds
Making your phone more difficult to use is a good idea. Keep it in another room, enter a passcode manually, turn it off, etc.
The real solution is for governments to ban addictive software development practices.
Nah, the solution is getting rid of the phone. Even without carefully crafted software for maximum engagement, it’s way too easy to waste time on pointless shit online
Yeah, that’s depression.
I think this is less a sign of depression these days as much as it is just falling victim to attention capitalism. Your brain chemistry is being hijacked to keep you scrolling and watching and wasting time.
Losing interest in things you want to do is a sign of depression, this post is more just pointing out the reason people are depressed.
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Well, depression/anxiety is spending your time agonizing about it and not doing it. Most people are doing this to some extent they just have brains that don’t have them dwelling on it all day. I have friends of all sorts who casually lament not reading or not picking up an instrument. Some are depressed some aren’t.
At least with me I am not really in the mood to do that and will do something else that has caught my attention at this moment.
another one that makes me wonder if I have it.
I keep a variety of tasks on deck… you can’t force fun and there’s no use agonizing over what you didn’t do so find joy where you can and try and keep things prepared for when you feel up to it (as an example I have my sewing machine on a table ready to go so if I feel up to it I don’t need to do a bunch of prep first)
Yes! Switching around naturally when it feels right is the way. No more shame, just following the brain signals where they lead.
It’s that AuDHD depression anxiety CPTSD super combo that makes me perpetually stuck in a freeze response 😎
Wants to go to bed, doesn’t
The trick is: see what you’re doing now?
Enjoy that.
Doomscrolling? That’s actually part of the problem, lol.
I think it’s more a reference to pausing the doom scrolling which is maybe a habit to avoid the boredom or discomfort of the current situation, and trying to focus on enjoying that. Enjoying your time eating lunch or dinner, and focusing on that, instead of scrolling or watching a video always. Enjoying a walk without a podcast or music. Enjoying the comfort of being safe and warm in bed instead of distracting from thoughts. Things like that. It’s a skill you build and as you build it you will be more open to getting dopamine from sources other than doomscrolling. Other benefits include being able to manage uncomfortable thoughts and feelings better and also have the boredom and discomfort drive you to do other things. Of course this works best when paired with things like DBT skills to help with thoughts and emotions.
Lying on the couch feeling anxious about the things I should be doing.
Who says you should? You enjoy lying on that couch!
Now I have a bit more function, I want to address this. Being locked into myself while doom scrolling on the couch is not enjoyable. It’s not something I want to or should enjoy. It is distinctly unpleasant and a reminder of just how much I am a slave to my fucked up brains constant need for stimulation. I have things I will enjoy and WANT to go do and fucking can’t because I’m stuck to the couch or stuck in my chair, doing something that provides my brain immediately activity. It fucking sucks. And, when I talk about how ADHD preventing me from doing stuff sucks, there’s always someone who comes along saying something along the lines of “your productivity doesn’t define your worth =D it’s ok to not do anything!” And like. I understand what you’re saying and that you’re trying to help and that that’s probably something that’s positive to a lot of people but you just don’t understand that it’s not a job or a hobby or chores not getting done that sucks, it’s being a nonfunctional human being that’s the problem and that that positive platitude applied to THAT problem is saying “stop trying to be a functional human being =D” and that is so incredibly frustrating.
I’m sorry, I understand the positive message you’re trying to spread but it’s… When someone complains about not being functional, telling them to enjoy their misery is actively unhelpful.
Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t understand your problem, even though my wife and some of my children have similar problems. I have had depression though, and then there is no enjoying anything. Maybe that’s similar?
When you are trapped in an episode, is there anything helpful? I hate standing still and observing while someone/something suffers. It’s not easy to just walk away, for me.
Is there anything at all that helps?
Just… Ugh.
Needs to be in the perfect mood
Never in the mood
I don’t dream about fancy vacations and places far away. There is just this 6 hour bike tour starting and finishing at my very home that I thought of, connecting my favourite tour with my favourite hike in a circle. That’s my dream vacation.
Yet another summer ends without it.
The life of the Wanderer is but to struggle. Alas once the struggle ends, life will too.
Been there in the past, but I actually have been doing all of the above past couple of years.
I recently read Peter Kropotkin’s The Conquest of Bread on anarcho-communism, and am currently reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. I’ve been drawing geometric patterns, mostly based on the Islamic tradition of geometry, and after drawing the patterns I start painting to add some color. I throw them away after a while, but I just like the flow-experience of painting/drawing, don’t really care about the end-result. I’m studying French on a daily basis, mostly on Busuu, but also by watching French movies (most recently Le Proces Goldman) and reading French books (most recently Le Petit Prince). I watch on average 2 movies per week at my local cinema, got a subscription there, sometimes go with friends but I also often go alone. I enjoy going to museums and studying art history, so when I have the time I cross the country by train and make visits. I also take psychedelics (LSD and/or psilocybin) every 2 or 3 weeks. Psychedlics are a lot of fun, but I also actually believe they helped me grow as a person, from what the OP describes, to where I am now. Psychedelics aren’t for everyone, but still I’d highly recommend most people to try them out some time (responsibly of course).
It makes it all the more attention-grabbing when you hit just the right mix of attitude, self-care, antidepressants, and stimulants that you can just do some shit and feel good about it, then even look forward to doing some other shit and getting that done too.
It doesn’t fix everything and it doesn’t stay that way without ongoing work, but it helps to genuinely know the feeling to help you going your way back there again.
Ich spreche Deutsch! Duolingo ist mein Lehrer!
I’d thoroughly recommend it to anyone wanting to casually learn a language. Even if you just do a little bit every day. Exercises are only a couple minutes long, but I spend around 15 to 30 minutes per day learning, and it’s going a lot better than I expected.
Same here though I use Busuu. Used Duolingo in the past, to be fair there’s not that much difference between the two.
Been dreaming of a FOSS alternative, where people work together to make the best possible ever-improving courses, and all is free and customizable to your every need. That would be so awesome ! Surely some day some one will make this happen, right?
