Us Millennials sure do love destroying industries by non-participation such as… lemme check my notes here… housing. Pack it in, chaps, another job well done.

The real solution to poverty is just not being poor.

Now where’s my Nobel Peace Prize?

Look look look, we just gotta keep taking the moral high road and meeting them in the middle. Eventually they’ll help us out. They can’t keep pulling the football like Lucy with Charlie Brown EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Thank you for reading my new cookbook “I Can’t Believe I Shit My Pants… AGAIN?!”

Yeah, turns out that lead in gasoline ain’t so great for the brain. I remember being oddly fascinated the first time I saw the correlation of lead being pulled from gas and violent crime plummeting 30 years later. You can see it in graphs from all across the world and can damn near set your watch to it.

They say you have to bury a farmer 10 feet down to prevent their arm from popping out of the ground to collect another handout.

Hello yes I would like to join the telling reddmins to gargle my balls community.

Just back then? This is my first time reading this particular excerpt, but the “Black Hitlers” part sticks out. Conservative America really has been doing the same shit forever, it seems. Calling them that is in the same family as saying, “Antifa are the real fascists,” etc. Just feed their target audience some shit to parrot that, to them, feels salient but really is meaningless except for redirecting blame and stoking fear and hatred.

I bet he’ll even follow it up with a strongly worded letter with at least 3 very strong points addressed to whomever will pay attention to him.

“Don’t Tread On Me!” cry the people who are salivating to tread on anyone else.

“NO LIST!”