Hi friends ,
I’ve known my best friend since I was 6 years old. He’s always been very, very successful. I’ve always looked up to him, and still do.
A couple of years ago, I confronted him about Elon. I was very concerned. Elon was becoming something I could no longer support. My friend said that he would support Tesla through thick and thin, and here we are today.
He’s made a lot of money off of Elon and I’m happy for him, but I am very concerned that I should not be supporting someone that’s making a living off of someone that possibly is a Nazi. I’m considering ending my friendship. I want to do the right thing. I care about you. I care about us, and I’m very scared for our future.
I’m asking you for advice on whether or not I should give up on my best friend. We’ve been friends for almost 40 years, and I love him dearly. I’m crying right now making these statements. Should I still seek his support?
I am just so angry. My world is becoming so hostile, and I don’t know if I should separate myself from the negative influences around me. What do you guys think?
From what I understood from you your post is that he’s not interested in Elon, but rather in the money he made with Tesla
That doesn’t sound like a bad thing, and certainly not like actively supporting Elon
Just trying to get by
I cut ties with my mother for voting for the orange-bad again. I still love her, but I have friends who are directly targeted by that shitbag and she knows it. Do whatever you think necessary. I’m sorry that you’ve maybe lost a friend.
People who support nazis are also nazis
Just avoid talking about politics with them. Ultinately neither of you are in control of world events so focus on what you have in common instead of jettisoning someone from your life for something almost as superficial as supporting a different sports team.
Determine if the relationship is having a negative impact on you, then either 1) assess why it’s hurting you and if there’s anything to adjust about how you’re processing it, or 2) protect your mental health by setting up the boundaries that you need, cutting off as a last resort.
Be cautious about asking this online though. People are tribal about politics and have zero investment in your IRL relationships, so you may see lots of rationalizing of cutting off a lifelong friend, family member, spouse, etc without much nuance. Only you have the proper perspective to determine what you’d be sacrificing and if it’s a net positive.
It honestly comes all down to morals, and that is it. That’s why this is so difficult. Am I right? Who the hell am I?
If the guy really is your friend, ask him bluntly. Don’t tiptoe around the topic.
If he is a fascist and you don’t want to be a sympathetiser your options are quite limited.
Again don’t use colloquialisms, or soft language.
don’t use colloquialisms, or soft language.
Honestly, part of the problem with the current crop of right wing assholes, is that a lot of them are so fucking brainwashed that they don’t even realize that what they’re supporting is just outright fascist/Nazi bullshit, so if you ask them point-blank “Are you a Nazi/fascist” they’re going to answer “no” and truly believe that, even as they’re supporting rounding up immigrants into concentration camps and “ironically” making Nazi salutes.
They have absolutely mastered 1984-style doublethink and duckspeak. They’ll prattle on about being free speech absolutists while wanting to remove books about trans people from libraries or banning people with different opinions from their social media sites. They’ll talk about being fiscally conservative while absolutely fucking the economy. They’ll rant about draining the swamp and eliminating the deep state while they give some unelected goon unprecedented power to do whatever the hell he wants in the government with no consequences.
And they see absolutely no contradictions there.
So you kind of have to play fucking word games with them if you want to actually sus out what their actual thoughts are.
This is so true, and why I posted this video to help us understand it. I went through this with a family member and it’s exhausting.
I’m so sad, bro. He’s coming over in an hour, and I’m so sad to cut him loose.
Convincing someone that they hold illogical positions takes time. If they value your friendship, then they should respect your feelings and at least be open to the conversation. It took me years to deprogram my mother. It took patience and a lot of compassion to slowly change her mind. If he is amicable, it may not be a lost cause. Eventually, Musk’s actions and peer pressure from the public may bring him around. It can happen.
That being said, if he harbors white supremacist views and is uncompromising, it might be best to excise that toxicity from your life. Only you know the contextual reality of this situation. Can his mind be changed? Or is this a lost cause?
If it’s the latter, be compassionate and let them know that you will always be available if they are willing to change their mind.
The thing is I am not trying to change him at all. I just want to do the right thing, and it just seems odd to me that someone would have these beliefs.
You know what is best for you. Good luck.
Thanks, friend.
Good luck.
Don’t ask lemmy for advice. Lemmy cares about their own ideology and nothing else.
You came in here, saw all the intelligent, reasonable conversations below and still posted this ignorant comment? The thread is full of insightful comments, not ideologies.
Suggesting someone reevaluate their friendship with a person who is causing feelings of discomfort and anger is an ideology now?
Well yes! You stupid leftists don’t have the right to live a comfortable life, free from criticism and accountability like us right-wingers. We’re the ones who are right, it’s right there in the name, “right-wing”. As such, anyone that might cause us discomfort, such as breaking ties or criticizing the ones who we support, is espousing a disgusting, ignorant, liberal ideology.
(I hope it’s obvious that I’m being sarcastic)
This is the most true statement in this whole thread and the best advice here. Don’t ask Lemmy.
Where should I go?
To your friend and other mutual friends and talk about it.
Speak to someone who knows your context. Someone preferably with some experience to give some perspective. Try some introspection. Read things written by people wiser than Lemmings.
I personally love podcasts. I’ll always be able to recommend from there:
You Are Not So Smart: 306 - I Never Thought of it That Way - Mónica Guzmán (rebroadcast). Episode webpage and Media file
I wouldn’t drop someone with such a long history and lots of positive features so quickly from my life. My parents can be racist. My family can be judgemental. My friends can be intolerant. A single aspect doesn’t define the whole of someone. If you go having deep conversations with people you know, you’ll quickly find some aspect in everybody that you deeply dislike.
If a black man can make friends with the most racist KKK members, and actually get them to change their minds through conversation, then there’s hope for anyone.
Even if you want to break off the friendship, you don’t have to do it today. The thought of that is obviously causing a lot of pain. See how things play out. Giving things time is almost always a good idea.
I see more comments in this thread warning that everyone here is going to say this than I see comments actually saying it.
Where should I go?
You said you had this conversation about Elon years ago, but obviously a lot has changed since then.
Try asking some deeper questions about why he still supports Musk now. Is he just trying to plug his head in the sand because he just likes Tesla/has a financial stake, or does he genuinely align with Musk’s fascist leanings? Did he vote for Trump?
This. People will ignore a lot of ugliness as long as they’re making money. If it’s just about his financial success and not about what Musk stands for, it may be disingenuous to call him a Nazi sympathizer.
That being said, it’s also true that most ways to make lots of money is on the backs of victims. If this is the part that is offensive to you, but he continues to embrace it even when the topic has been carefully explored, then you should do what helps you stay sane.
I just don’t recommend abandoning friendships lightly.
Oh boy, I have not addressed this! Haha. Guess I got a serious convo coming up
If they’ve been your friend for 40 years, then I think it’s best you talk to him directly. Just be direct, don’t tip-toe around the subject. Just like a marriage, the only thing that is going to relieve the tension and get things on track is open communication with your friend. But – and this is important – You have to be ready for the answers to not be what you want.
Thank you.
I don’t think it’s always necessary or even helpful to sever relationships solely because someone has toxic political beliefs.
I would think more in terms of what problems do you see with this relationship and what actions, if any could potentially solve these problems? What are you trying to achieve by ending this relationship?
Really it comes down to intolerance. I just want to help my fellow man. My friend is a good person, I just am so separated from his views of society.
So you want him to become more tolerant, is that your goal?
No, I don’t want him to change. He has his own life. But I wonder if I’m part of the problem by being associated with him.
But I wonder if I’m part of the problem by being associated with him.
Elon’s playbook is to divide us. Elon would prefer your friend be cut off from his long term support (you), when Elon asks him to cross a line that he otherwise wouldn’t.
We are getting to the point I am afraid of. This sucks.
That question is for you to answer, but in my opinion it’s not worth it throwing away a long friendship over politics. You are allowed to have disagreements. Additionally if all his non-politically right friends / associates throw him away if might only push him even further into right politics.
Thank you for the input.
Sadly no-one can tell you that as it is your decision based on your morals and your beliefs. It’s a hard decision, one that I also had to make. The question is, what is harder and more painful: losing this friend or being friends with someone who is like this.
Wish you all the strength you need to get through this.
Thanks, bro/sis.
Seems a lot of us are making this tough decisions recently. Truly no one can tell you what is best but I think if you feel you can still be a good influence on them then you should try. If not then don’t risk them being a bad influence on you.
His mind is made up. He’s always been about money.
If it’s just about the money, you’ll have plenty of ammo as the market takes a dump soon.
Ha, I’d don’t know all about that. These layoffs are part of the privatization process. I live in the DMV. What a f’n mess! Haha
@Chef_Boyardee@lemm.ee As someone that experienced a similar case, I sleep better with my consciousness clean, even if it hurts.
Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.
