• Raykin@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    Ah, the dead man’s switch. It always reminds me of the time my homophobic uncle-in-law died in a car crash and they found his secret stash of gay porn in the wreckage. Yeah, good luck explaining that one at the pearly gates my man.

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      8 个月前

      What a brave man. While trying to protect the society from the evils of homosexualiness (rainbows, questionable moustaches, etc), he still tried to study the enemy to understand their flawed logic. 🫡

    • tourist@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      man not only had a secret stash, he kept it in his fucking car

      that means he was either going back and forth between the wank cave and the honda every session or he fapped in or around his car

      • Raykin@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Hearing them tell it, you would think they were more upset about the stash than his death.

        I like to think it was both. He probably crashed because he was fapping in the car on the way to the wank cave to swap the fap cache. At least then he died doing what he loved.

        Come to think of it, I’m reminded of a detail that may corroborate my theory. He was ejected from the car when it rolled. It actually pancaked his head, leaving the rest of him pretty intact.

        Anyway, he clearly wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. So now I’m thinking why wasn’t he wearing it? And why was his dick out when they found him? I guess God is mysterious or whatever he used to like to say.

  • problematicPanther@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    meh, if i die you can check my porn history. You’ll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else. i’d be more embarrased by the duck duck go searches for when I’m trying to fix something.

    • Ziixe@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 个月前

      You’ll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else.

      Can’t wait in 10 years when I can check my femboy friends search history after he dies from a heart attack (he excessively drinks energy drinks), I bet there will be shit like “femboy tentacle expansion” or something weird like that

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      8 个月前

      Priest or equivalent: ‘We are gathered today to remember the life of Bjrn Tantau, who had this uncommon, but not weird, kink about hobo feet’

      Assembly: ‘Good for them’

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    Is that really a function it offers? If this really works, it’s the first time I’ve ever considered wanting to maybe finally buy & own & wear & use a smartwatch.

    • Norah - She/They@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 个月前

      I just checked, because I thought this might have been added in an update I missed. But no, you cannot use heart rate as an automation trigger for a shortcut. I have POTS and I wanted to make it play “I Will Survive” when my HR passes 150 randomly.

      I also checked and there isn’t even an action for clearing your safari history. Shortcuts could be so powerful if Apple didn’t hamstring the shit out of it.

      • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Thank you. gosh technology could be even more advanced useful if they kept users’ needs in mind. But technological advances seem to cater to whatever increases revenue and data collection.

    • voxel@sopuli.xyz
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      8 个月前

      kinda unrelated but huawei wants you to upload your ID AND bank account details just to gain access to local data available on your own watch.

      there are ways around it tho, one of the prs for Gardgetbridge includes full support for huawei devices, and of course you could use that and documentation that was created during it’s development to pull data via Bluetooth directly (without using the proprietary Huawei SDK)

      • moonburster@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Wait what. What is their reasoning behind this? It kinda feels like it won’t hold ground in a lot of countries either

        • voxel@sopuli.xyz
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          8 个月前

          well you need access to the developer account in order to use the Health SDK, which also includes access to their app store so of course the verification process is pretty rigorous.
          you also need an app published on appgallery (even if not publicly available) in order to use most apis, even if they just interact with local devices