• Che Banana@beehaw.org
      16·
      3 months ago

      I hope the sauce burned your Giant Floppy Cock and you had to deal with burnt, loose skin lile the roof of your mouth…but on your Fían Floppy Cock

  • Ghyste@sh.itjust.works
    66·
    3 months ago

    The garlic butter container slid across the pizza while the cheese was still liquid.

    Or the person pushed it through and took the picture.

    Or there was a massive air bubble.

      • kingthrillgore@lemmy.ml
        11·
        3 months ago

        Definitely not Papa John’s. It is the loosest definition of pizza. Below even Chicago Deep Dish.

        My favorite Papa John’s memory (because if you’re an American, you’ve been forced to eat this slop at some point) is we had an On Call shift for NCAA events (I worked at a sports site) so they ordered us pizzas, donuts, salads, the spread since we’d be there until 3am. This was three days after Papa John himself had to resign for saying gamer words. His face, prominently featured on all the boxes, had been replaced by a “Now Hiring” sticker in an inconsistent manner, which led me to believe the employees at the kitchen had some feelings about the guy…

        • TimeNaan@lemmy.world
          7·
          3 months ago

          I live in poland and Papa Johns has recently opened a few restaurants here but nobody wants to eat this hyperprocessed trash when the local joints (some run by Italians) are so much better for the same price.

          Even local corporate pizza franchises are way ahead of any american ones like Papa Johns, Domino’s or Pizza Hut in quality.

          I guess americans just can’t make good pizza.

          • cm0002@lemmy.world
            11·
            3 months ago

            I guess americans just can’t make good pizza.

            No, giant American corporations cant make good pizza, I can assure you we’ve got plenty of local joints all over that can rival yours

          • kingthrillgore@lemmy.ml
            6·
            3 months ago

            I’ve had lots of good pizza in the US, almost exclusively from independent places that serve NY Slice/Detroit/Neapolitan, and only one from a chain that’s even close to decent: Blaze Pizza, which goes for a neapolitan-style in a fast casual setting. That’s about it.

          • frezik@midwest.social
            2·
            3 months ago

            The versions of pizza known to everyone outside of Italy were invented in America. Papa Johns is just crap.

            • TimeNaan@lemmy.world
              1·
              3 months ago

              That’s what I’m saying. Americans/american corporations bastardised italian pizza so much it’s become pizza only technically, by definition.

              It technically has the same ingredients as pizza but none of them are fresh so the taste is just wrong.

              • frezik@midwest.social
                1·
                3 months ago

                Plenty of places offer fresh ingredients. People often try OG Italian pizza and find they don’t like it.

  • niktemadur@lemmy.world
    18·
    3 months ago

    If this goes viral, I remember that racist, fanatical republican arschloch who used to do the commercials and realize I would probably not cry if his Papajohn stonk tanks.

    • androogee (they/she)@midwest.socialEnglish
      11·
      3 months ago

      IIRC, that dude got fired for asking a PR rep “why can’t I say n----r?” in a call that got leaked.

      //edited for specific details because it’s way funnier

      So he had been publically pushing against the NFL protests like a racist, and people didn’t like it. The company hired a PR firm to help, and in a conference call with them he was whining about wokism or whatever and defended himself by claiming that, “Colonel Sanders called blacks n----rs.” The call audio was promptly leaked

      He resigned. Three days later the Papa John’s cancelled the lease on his office and had him evicted lmfao. Within two weeks they implemented a policy that if John ever tries to buy more stock, all other stockholders can buy stock at half off to prevent him from ever controlling the company. Dude got fuckin razzmatazzed by his own pizza corporation.

      Their pizza is still overpriced, dry, and bland tho.

      • niktemadur@lemmy.world
        2·
        3 months ago

        Oh my goodness, that epilogue to the events in question is like a rich and creamy dessert, I had no idea the repercussions were so swift and severe.

        Thank you for posting this, I’m amazed that I didn’t know the broader arc of the story.

  • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
    14·
    3 months ago

    ok, gonna have to school some peeps with some pizza knowledge today.

    First off, this is a thin crust. Dough comes to the store pre-made with perforations, you might get one small bubble in a thousand pizzas. So, not a bubble issue. (sorry @Ghyste@sh.itjust.works)

    2nd, the pizza was cut previously from the incident as indicated by the cut marks of the classic “8 slice-large”. These cuts have been covered where the cheese has been squashed from the smushing After cutting. (sorry @anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone) Also, the ovens are designed to only allow a particular height through, bottles on top of a pizza wouldn’t even make it in and the smell would be atrocious.

    C, the standard thin crust from PJ’s comes only with special seasoning (a small paper packet of seasoning) and some pepperoncini peppers, it does not contain the round garlic sauce containers. If it had, the marks would start round and end round. (sorry again @Ghyste@sh.itjust.works)

    Two likely culprits in my book, one would be the oven attendants personal bottle. On busy days you have seconds to cut, package, and add all the sides (wings are the worse with extra sauce on them and extra side sauce you always run out of). Damaging a pizza can be a daily occurrence. Lastly, probably a sauce bottle itself. There are several of such size and design for the garlic Parmesan, buffalo, bbq, etc. Whole container full of bottles you usually hand off to someone helping you catch up and probably dropped it into the open box after cutting and before putting on the heating rack.

    The reality, this was probably a bad pizza set off to the side on the heat rack. There are no sides present and typically you’ll see a wet residue from the peppers once they’re placed in the box (you don’t put sides in a bad pizza/one being remade). The slice stolen was probably a co-worker grabbing a slice during working hours and another co-worker took the rest home. Probably thought it was funny and snapped a photo for the sharing feels.

    edit: changed cooling rack to heating rack, I will now perform Seppuku with my pizza cutter for my disgrace.

  • Another Catgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    7·
    3 months ago

    Looks like a scoop or a bottle got buried in the topping before they put it in the oven and they didn’t realize until after the oven so theyjust picked it out and put it in the box lazily. Could he burnt plastic be careful.