Now I understand the hype.
This is something I’ve been wanting to do for years honestly. As you all know, here in America we wipe with cheeseburgers and bald eagles. But I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve heard or read someone extolling the virtues of the bidet, usually from a European or a converted ‘Murcan.
So I finally decided it was time…began reading product reviews, found a brand new one for cheap on an auction site but…I misjudged the fit for my particular toilet. So that one had to go back in the box. Ended up going to a local store for one because I didn’t feel like waiting any longer and I could judge the fit with my own eyes.
Got one, brought it home, installed it, and…well friends I don’t know if buttholes believe in heaven, but if they do mine surely thinks it’s died and gone there. It’s not one of the super luxury models with the remote and smartphone app, but it’s got warm water, a seat warmer, and a warm air dryer. I’m hooked. In fact when I’m at work I now get annoyed that I don’t have access to it.
I now count myself among the converted. I’ve never felt so pampered.
the warm water is the only necessity. I’ve used those cold water bidets at midnight in winter in Minnesota. The shriek woke up the entire damn hostel.
Ahhhhh. Living somewhere with relatively mild winters, I’ve never had any desire to upgrade from my entry level, super basic, cold water only bidet.
I live in a frozen tundra wasteland and I have a cold-only and have never thought “I wish this was warm”
…but then again, I keep my house 70°F-75°F year round. By the time I come in and poo, I’m a comfy temp.
My only toilet-attach-bidet complaint is that it really relies on the water pressure at your house. My house is blessed with Super Soaker CPS 2000 bathroom water pressure, but my best friend’s bidet is like one of those clear water pistols where you fill with water from the back of the handle. I want my bits pressure-washed!
Next bit of warm weather we get, I’m seriously considering putting my travel bidet in the fridge.
Yep. And you need the seat warmer and warm air dry too.
Source: Live in northern Minnesota. It be COLD in the winter here.
My first “real” winter was in Utah (I grew up in the California bay area. Our weather is divine when it’s not on fire or raining spiders? Ooo, how do you think el niño of going to affect the annual spider rain?) and I lasted a week before upgrading. I cannot imagine Minnesota with icy cheeks
Don’t sell yourself short. Winter in Utah has its moments.
It’s not my price that’s short it’s my legs
Well, don’t long for legs that you don’t have. But make the most of the legs you do have!
don’t long for legs
I bought a 35€ one that is just a jet of cold water you have to aim yourself. I don’t find the coldness to be an issue at all. And now I essentially don’t need to wipe anymore.
Why am I reminded of this….
OP is right on the money.
I had read plenty of stuff about bidets but it always seemed weird to have a machine shoot water up my ass. Then I bought a house that came with a nice one. I was converted almost instantly.
Now traveling sucks because no hotels or public bathrooms have them, and there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being actually clean.
Buy a bidet bottle. I take mine anywhere I travel. Game changer!
Whenever I travel now it suuuuucks. I bring baby wipes (and don’t flush them), but nothing can match my geyser throne.
Just bring a portable bidet! Essentially just a water bottle with a nozzle on it. Works well and fits in my backpack easily.
I’m stealing that term. 😂
Get yourself a HappyPo.
Did you make the tradition high pitched “ooooh!” The first time you used it?
I don’t think I can ever go back to not having one
Yard sprinklers are the poor man’s bidet in Alabama. Just make sure nobody’s home when you do it 😂
I’m sure that if they could, the bald eagles would thank you.
What an interesting coincidence to run into that I’m currently sitting on my Brondell bidet while I write this comment.
Seems weird.
I’ve never seen an actual bidet, but these bidet showers are in literally every toilet in Finland, including gas station public bathrooms.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet_shower
bidet shower (also known as a handheld bidet, commode shower, toilet shower, health faucet, bum shower, bidet spray, jet spray, hand shower, shaṭafa (from the Arabic: شَطَّافَة [ʃɑtˤˈtˤɑːfɑ], “hand shower rinser”), Muslim shower (common in Pakistan) or bum gun), pillupuhelin (from Finnish pillu, “vagina” and puhelin, “telephone”) is a hand-held triggered nozzle that is placed near the toilet and delivers a spray of water used for anal cleansing and cleaning of the genitals after using the toilet for defecation and urination. The device is similar to that of a kitchen sink sprayer.
Very important SAFETY warning for those considering bidets: Please look into backflow prevention. If you haven’t set up adequate backflow prevention, the shit can get into the water pipe and contaminate the water that comes out of all the taps on the property. The health risks of this are harrowing for healthy people, not just those more vulnerable.
Are you shitting into the waterline?
The keyword is ‘backflow’.
This seems like a crazy anomaly unless your water main breaks. Also even then, 5 seconds of running a tap would clear this. Do you worry when they open the fire hydrants every spring? Are there any actual reported cases of this happening in the US?
Are you putting your bidet nozzle up your bum?
I installed one 3 or 4 years ago. I went with the nozzle on a hose type.
Congrats on the clean starfish.
I laughed way too hard at this!!!
I also warn people all the time about bidets: You instantly and irreversibly get
addictedhooked after first use.so jelly. I have wanted one forever. what did you end up getting? When I was doing better I was intent on doing it but sorta had decision paralysis.
i have an old Biobidet i got a few decades ago. it was a few hundred bucks but has a hot water tank on the side of the toilet. gotta get one with warm/heated water.
our house is basically set up that the bathrooms attached to bedrooms have warm water bidets (washlets technically) and the other bathrooms have simple cold bidets.
LuxeBidet is the model I got.
Totally entry level, hooks up to the water supply to the toilet tank. No heat or special features, stupid easy to install. Price around $50.
To my mind, no need to go more expensive until you know more what you might want.
I do have an aunt and uncle who got an expensive toilet bidet unit with heated seat and all the features… after having tried my bidet while visiting.
Plus with the cheap unit you get the bonus of hearing the startled yelps of your uninitiated guests as cold water hits their asshole for the first time.
The fancy models with air-drying are bad, it takes ages when you can just dab your butt/bits dry. Warm water is also a take-it-or-leave-it for me, but lots of people really like that.
Heated seat, though—THAT is a nice feature. It squicked me out right away because I always hated sitting on toilet seats that were still warm from other butts when u was young, but I got over that and now I’d love to have a seat warmer…
Depending on bathroom layout you can also spray off the curtains for a quick in-place cleaning. This post sponsored by Luxe-gang.
I installed luxebidets during covid. Still working great. My wife and I both work in hospitals and didn’t have time to fight the crowd for TP.
Dude I got a cheap $40 or $50 one from Amazon years ago that just sprays cold water and it’s glorious. It doesn’t matter which one you get, you just gotta get that water on your butt hole!
I sort want warm water.
You’ve not lived until the toothless one has tasted the cold water fount on a hot summer day.
Don’t leave us in the dark! What model did you get?!
This one
WATER DOES IT BETTER.
Soooo close to “BEPIS”…
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this.
